What a small world

“We have to forget what we are taught.”
It made me think as I heard this and I agree. Just like many people I’m raised by the government, raised by a society that stood for something. A government that was paid to fulfil a certain task. That task is not about protecting the people, those people who pay them but keeping them under their thumb. Who still believes money doesn’t make happy is a fool. All you need is money not love to succeed.

Many songs are written about money. Not about capitalism but those few who have more money to spend than the average rich guy. These persons you find everywhere. A democracy either the country of opportunities or the people’s republic of China are an exception. Wealthy people always existed and they will always state they are the better race, the purebloods, philanthropic, those noble ones who know what’s best for you (and with you, the mass is meant. All those who are poor, those who just consume, the elderly, the vulnerable, the weak, sick, those who aren’t white, a member of those noble families.)

How will that work out for most of us?
The smart ones will build a life, new communities far away from what those not so noble of heart people want. People I have doubts about they are so healthy. Have a closer look at who rules. Mainly white old men. Men who travel in private jets, people who don’t care about restrictions and facemasks. Ugly old men who don’t care who kills whom as long as the job is done.

I wonder how many emigrants are safe. Might be they are at the moment because no one dares to jab them but if you know who those few “noble philanthropists” are you know enough. They come from a long line of Eugenics who renamed ‘The negro project’ into ‘Planned parenthood’

Population Council (dr CJ Gamble) is another project Bill Gates donates to. If you believe counting the world’s population is the only job you are wrong. There are letters written by Margaret Sanger about how to fool the people and get rid of them, the black people not the white. After you watched this you truly believe you, as an immigrant will be safe, black lives matter? You truly believe no jab at this very moment will keep you and your children safe for the future? They fight the poor, black and undesirables. You can change a name, pretend you are a good guy but this is a father like son case. The fox won’t change no matter how old it is.

Is doctor Clarence James Gamble ever sued for what he did to the people, the genocide or was he free to go like so many during the past hundreds of years? They made us believe all criminals are punished, all those who committed genocide ended up in The Hague but this is a lie.
The KKK, the Eugenics aka Gates, Rockefeller and the rest of the noble dynasty is still alive. Not one of them is a philanthropic

A lady tells how she was in hospital and was sterilised after she gave birth. You think this lies, you believe there are other reasons? I can tell you it’s exactly what the doctor tried to do with me. Although I gave birth in a natural the urgent advice was to let myself be sterilised. I refused. Back then I already didn’t trust a doctor on his word.

So no, if you are an emigrant, out of Africa you are not safe. The Western world isn’t the promised paradise although it might look like it from a far distance. You will be registered, you will be jabbed and you will be killed. No one needs you because you don’t add anything to society, a society that wastes money, money without any value. A society that is hiding to the next financial crisis. Just like me, you will have to find a way to survive cold winters without gas to heat your house, without water and electricity.

In the last 8 years, the definition of black has changed. You no longer need to be black to be called black even those with rather white skin are called black today except me because I’m born in the wrong country.

In 2030 Gate’s and his mates’ wet dream will comes true. At least for a part of the world. They will copy China in many ways. Can be there’s a delay but we all saw how fast our lives changed during the past two years. Facemasks are normal and not to hide your acné or less fortunate face or because you are disabled. Poverty will increase and next to killer jabs, no food and medical help will do the rest. Dying will be the new normal, 90% of the population needs to be killed as soon as possible. What makes you think you belong to that 10%?

If you like to know why they want you to die you can search for your own reason. It has nothing to do with a lack of nature, pollution or an economical crisis. If these reasons make you feel better keep them in mind if you die, tell yourself: I did something good for nature.

We are with many and what surprises me is how easily we are trapped in the web of lies. Lies spread by only a handful of people who likely are surprised how easily that went. The time was well chosen and right. We can’t even say we didn’t know since all that is said and done can be found in libraries, in history and on the internet. I guess if you give your safety out of hands, count on others to save you this is the reward you get. Death to all and in the worst-case infertile. Not because of China, not because we directly asked for it but because we did give control over our lives to people we shouldn’t and don’t trust on their word, people we do not investigate any further.

95% of the Dutch people do not trust the unchosen government.

Only if we forget about what we are taught we can start with a blank sheet and see our present situation for what it is. The naked truth which is the reality. Not negative or positive but what we want it to be. It’s possible to build a better community or your own paradise. There are ways to start somewhere else all over again or just stay where you are and see the western world come to an end because they will not give you a warm embrace. The world changes fast, norms, values, attitudes do. If you add nothing most of us don’t – the new world order will get rid of you.


#kittywu #life #lessons #norms #values #newnormal #eugenics #history #killing #jab


Forgotten, dead and buried.

Out of bed at 6 am and cleaning my room. Why do I have to push the bed in the middle of the room and lift all small furniture on it every day so it’s easier for her vacuuming? Just like me, the vacuum cleaners in our house never has a day off. It’s 6 o’clock and I’m already super tired. I didn’t sleep much and don’t think it will get any better. My mother kept screaming and I tried not to hear her. It’s hard. The walls are not keeping her voice out. I can hear children playing outside, my mother’s car if she arrives in the street, the neighbour playing drums and Bart making music. He lives next to our neighbours. If I can hear all these sounds people can hear her too.
Breakfast with my parents at seven, breakfast in silence a choking silence. I’m never allowed to speak so that isn’t new but usually my parents do. I should say my mother is. She’s the one who talks, talks, talks, repeats herself and repeats herself and repeats herself and tells you to repeat what she said which I can’t. So I keep my mouth shut which makes her furious. If I try to repeat what she said I can’t remember the exactly right words. The thing is she always says the same so after the first words I shut down. I close my ears and try not to hear her. I eat my bread and focus on my plate, on eating. I don’t want to hear her voice. She rattles on and on and on it’s always the same. How great she is, how ungrateful others are, blah blah blah.

Why don’t I have a normal mother? A mum like Ellen, Louis or Françoise has? A mother with a normal voice who lets you play with other children instead of punishing you for everything she can think of? I watch dad slicing cheese for his bread. If he doesn’t answer she will attack him. He never needs to repeat what she says. I wonder how auntie is doing. She no longer visits us. Will she go to grandmother if it’s Christmas?
I don’t want to hear her voice but it fills the kitchen. If I close my eyes I hear that voice everywhere around me.

Why did dad marry her? Did she ever say a sweet thing or was it her dad’s money? Grandpa is dead. There won’t be money for him. He’s no family but the man my grandparents never wanted for their daughter. Dad doesn’t look very happy. Perhaps he will sing if he cleans the bathroom and kitchen?
Her hand smacks me in the face. My head slams against the wall. “Are you sleeping again? Stand up, you lazy kid. No one is as lazy as you. Why don’t you comb your hair!” All I can do is stare at her. I have nothing to say. Whatever I would say isn’t good enough to make her forget her anger, make her like me. I try not to touch my face or head while I look her straight into the eyes. She looks at me, observes me, waits till I say something. She turns around abruptly and slams the door behind her.
“Get up you’ll be fine,” dad says. He didn’t help me. He gave up risking his neck for me. “Let’s clean up the place before your mother is back.” He starts cleaning up the breakfast table and I go back upstairs. The rooms, stairs and hallways, toilet and living room are my task. No polishing shoes today. I don’t know who will vacuum since she isn’t there. If she comes back at the end of the day she’ll be mad because the house is a mess. That’s how she calls it a mess.

I don’t feel like cleaning. Everything is clean. I pile up the small furniture on the beds in each room. I clean doors and doorknobs and wipe the dust not a single person can see. In each room, I wait till the time is over. The time it takes to clean a room to her standards. I don’t hear her, I don’t hear her car. It’s silent till dad comes upstairs and starts singing while he cleans the bathroom. I clean the toilet. Tile after tile. Another door on which I’m not going to spend 33 times scrubbing on.

How many times did I step outside to knock the dust out of the duster?

The living room is the only place where furniture can remain at its place on Saturdays. It’s clean like always. The Christmas tree is still outside. Will she be back to decorate it? I sit on the floor and wait. My head hurts. I touch the spot. Blood. She’ll be mad if there’s blood on the furniture or carpet but I have to lay down.
Dad comes downstairs and I hear him enter the kitchen. Later I’ll tell him I finished my tasks. I like to listen to the sound of the clock. Dad sings again.

Dad told me to help him to set up the tree in the living and he put the lights on. The smell of the tree fills the air. Shocked I was as I looked at the floor. A trace of needles everywhere from the living through the hallway and kitchen. “We’ll vacuum it before your mother is back, after that we get the boxes with decoration,” dad said. It felt as if he had everything under control and no longer cared about what she would say or do.
“No hiking today?”
“No, it’s vacation. Dad… I don’t want to go hiking ever again.”
“I know.”

The day didn’t end too bad. The bakery delivered boxes with bread, cookies, cakes, a Christmas loaf and chocolates. My mother came home with bags with stuff she bought and decorated the tree. It took her hours because it has to be perfect. She made a mess again and vacuumed the living three more times. She didn’t say sorry or look at me. I stood there and watched her. Unsure if I was allowed to leave or had to wait for a new order. She let me put some ‘angel’s hair’ on the ranks. It looks nice but it hurts if you touch it. The tree looks beautiful all silver with white of the ‘hair’ and the yellow big candle lights. My mother knows how she has to decorate a tree, furniture a house and how to spend too much money.

December 18, 2021

I visited Sunday school and my parents went to church. If I don’t comb my hair straight you can’t see the blood on my head. It’s cold so I wear a hat outside. The teacher didn’t notice it.

December 19, 2021

No school, no housekeeper just me and my mother cleaning. To my mother, it’s an ordinary Monday. She works 24/7 and if she doesn’t work we clean. In the morning we start cleaning till she has to go. She leaves if someone calls her or if she visits people at their homes. She visits in the afternoon. A few evenings a week people visit us. Dad says he has things to do. He left.

I don’t like staying home during vacations. Vacations at home are good for more cleaning, scolding, whipping and pain. That’s all it’s good for.

In the evening I’m allowed to sit in the living and watch the tree. The living is for weekends only. I spend the most time in my room or the kitchen if I’m not at school and have to clean the house.

December 20, 2021

The living is in the Christmas mood my mother isn’t. Her mood goes up and down. I’ll never know what she will say or do next. I don’t trust her and am glad I don’t need to share a bed with her like dad. If she kills him who takes care of me?

December 21, 2021

On television is more Christmas spirit than at home. I’m afraid of my mother. She acts weird. Dad says nothing and stays in the little room upstairs. She keeps walking up and down while saying the same words over and over again. Can’t she just sit down for a moment and act like a normal person?
I try to watch telly but it’s hard with her around. She can snap any minute. We didn’t have tea yet. I leave and hide on the toilet and try to think about what to do. I can put the kettle on and make us some tea. I go ask dad if he likes some tea.
Back downstairs I fill the kettle with water and put it on the cooker and wait. I wait at the kitchen table and try not to touch more things than necessary. My mother always knows if something is touched, moved. It’s good enough for the next scene. Why is she walking up and down? Is she crazy?
I fill the teapot and a dad’s mug. I’ll give him first before I ask her. Back in the hallway I no longer hear her voice behind the door in the living. Should I enter or drink my tea first? I knock on the door and carefully open it. She stands in front of the tree.
“Mother do you want some tea?”
She turns around stares at me as if I’m a stranger.
“Yes,” she says and follows me to the kitchen.
“Take some cookies.” We sit at the table and she pushes the wooden cookie box over the tablecloth towards me. The madness disappeared.

December 22, 2021

Today felt like a better day. I read the book school gave me again and my mother was in a chocolate mood. She ate a lot of chocolate and butter cookies. Not if it’s coffee time or tea time but just so. I don’t like the butter cookies and chocolate she buys. It’s made by the baker. Grandmother’s chocolate is better. She buys small bars of chocolate with hazelnut or Koetjes bars (the wrap is blue-white with a cow on it). Always five wrapped together. I don’t think she eats them. It’s for the visitors, sometimes she gives me one. It’s the only sweet my grandmother has in the cupboard. My mother’s cupboards are filled and one huge drawer of the antique cabinet is for cookies, cakes, chocolate, pastries only. Perhaps her mother never gave her candy?

December 23, 2021

At 5:30 I’m out of bed. The laundry will be collected and the clean laundry taken back. We have enough sheets for at least twelve beds.
My mother started the day in a good mood but halfway through the day, it changed after grandmother called. Tomorrow we will visit grandmother and the next day granny. Each year with Christmas it’s the same routine. Granny cooks too but we never had Christmas dinner with her.

At midnight we visited the church. It was crowded and I couldn’t sit anywhere. I don’t like to be in a cold church in the middle of the night and listen to a story I already know. A story about the hope for peace, love and light. Peace, love and light? Try to live with my mother for a week or better month and all the hope and dreams you had are gone. If you are lucky you get out sane. Jesus is lucky his mother isn’t like mine or perhaps he’s not. With a mother like mine you wish you were dead. If no one believes you, everyone is blind for what she does there’s no reason to stay alive. What is a lifelong scolding and beating worth? Even in church, I hear her voice. That voice is always in my head. It’s hard not to change into that man Norman Bates. He knows how it is if you can’t escape out of your mother’s claws. Jesus didn’t rescue either did god. It is as it is. If there’s a plan for everything it means God doesn’t care and he won’t come to your rescue. He wants you to suffer. I don’t believe that old man preaching. He says what they all say but never talks about real life, real suffer and pain.

Happy to be home back in bed even my bed is cold.

December 24, 2021

Not much sleep. Out of bed at 6 am.
Merry Christmas… I’ve watched a film on television. Grandmother doesn’t have a tree. Auntie and my new uncle came for having Christmas dinner with us. Soup, goose, dessert and coffee with apple pie. I like grandmother’s dining table and chairs. The legs are claws of an animal. We didn’t sleepover. My mother was angry and granny was too. Dad drove us back home. Tomorrow I will see granny. A long drive in the car again. The light of the star of Bethlehem in front of our window was on. Welcome home.

December 25, 2022

It was good to see granny is still alive. My uncle was home and another uncle came with his wife and children. I don’t really know them just my uncle. I like him most of all uncles I have.
We ate nothing special but it doesn’t matter. I can’t eat much anyway. Again soup, rice and beans and meat and chocolate custard. We had coffee and cake and I helped granny do the dishes. I like her gas heater and watched it burn. No one talks to me. Uncle didn’t stay long. My other uncle can be a bully and hates my mother and the adults talk to or fight with each other. It doesn’t matter if it’s Christmas or not. There’s no love, no hope, no light wherever we go.

December 26, 2021

Days pass by. The tree is the only light in the darkness even if it loses its needles. My mother waters it daily. I think it’s too warm inside and it starves. What is cut dies. It will be hard to get it out of here.
Mother gave me chocolate wreaths at tea time. She sang. I hope she isn’t up to something bad again. Dad visited uncle G. He never takes me over there. I’m not sure if my mother was there. I think she likes him somehow. She doesn’t like people and never forbids me to take his candies.

I had to come along with her as she visited the people. I felt bored and it’s cold in the car if she doesn’t drive. The car makes me sick and it takes long before she comes back if she visits someone. Why do I have to sit and wait in the car? Why?

December 29, 2021

Tomorrow we visit grandmother again. She’ll bake oliebollen and apple beignets. I like the apple beignets most of all.

I didn’t need to clean that much and was allowed to go outside. It’s not so cold. No snow. It doesn’t feel like Winter. I didn’t know what to do or where to go to. I watched some children play and met Ellen. We searched for coins on the paths behind the row of houses where she lives and followed the path to where I live. Some mothers were outside frying oliebollen just like last year. It makes it smell nice outside.

December 30, 2021

Laundry day. The last day of the year. No illusions it will get any better. My mother won’t change into a beautiful fairy if the clock strikes twelve. She will be ugly on the inside forever sneaky, mean, violent.
At 10 o’clock she received a phone call. She sounded agitated finished her coffee with cake and went to her room. She had to do her hair and makeup first which takes hours. She called for me and my task was to check her hair. She doesn’t need me she has 4 mirrors plus doesn’t believe what I say anyway. It took and took and those people called again which made her angry with me. Finally, she left. I felt relieved, cleaned up everything and took another cup of tea. I put the dishwasher on. It’s not difficult and I know we won’t leave if she finds tasks to be done. Dad left. I hope he is back home before her. I’m not sure what to do. I checked every room if it’s clean. My mother hates dust and dirt and every single item needs to be right at its spot. Should I vacuum the stairs an extra time? I walked the steps she can see it on the carpet.
I vacuum underneath the tree and sit on the floor with a dustcloth in my hand. It’s better not to touch anything. She doesn’t only see footsteps but fingerprints everywhere too. I hug the dogs but can’t feed them. If they come with us in the car they feel sick too. If they eat they vomit and make my mother furious too.

She arrived late. Dad bought us something to eat. She didn’t say anything, didn’t complain about what the house looked like. Dad drove us to grandmother. I think grandmother was angry. She said she waited for us the whole day.
“Shut up woman,” my mother answered angrily, “you know I have to work.”

If I would only think these words she would wash my mouth with soap and best me to death.

“You could have called.” Grandmother looks at dad but he doesn’t answer.

I went upstairs to the room in the attic. Three long stairs. For New Year’s Eve, we always dress up. Black suit for men and women and girls wear a long dress or skirt. I don’t know why because no one takes a picture and we don’t go outside to wish the neighbours a happy new year. It’s the first thing we do the next morning.
So long dress it is just to drink hot chocolate, eat oliebollen and wait till it’s midnight. No one plays with me, talks to me or cares if I’m joining them in the front living room. They watch a show about the past year. I don’t know if I should laugh or cry. I have no clue what is talked about on the telly. Grandmother put bowls with oliebollen and apple beignet on the dining table in the back living room. No one cares how many I’ll eat. They are there to be eaten and if the bowls are empty there are more, way more in grandpa’s office.

Champagne, happy New Year wishes, fake kisses. Firework outside and on television. I don’t like champagne or coffee. All I drink is tea and on rare occasions hot chocolate or hot milk if I am staying with grandmother.

In my bedroom, I watch the firework up in the sky through the small window. I can see the colours while I’m in bed. Tomorrow everything will be back to normal. My normal which isn’t something to be happy with. The Christmas spirit is already dead and buried. I don’t have anything else to achieve other than staying alive till I find a way to get out of here.

December 31, 2021


#kittywu #diary #childhood #childabuse

What if there’s no electricity?

The luxury of electricity is normal to many of us. If it all works fine it’s hard to imagine what life looks like without once used to devices with a plug.
The fridge, washing machine, smartphone, computer, television set, radio, oven and so much more can no longer function without a socket. Today I miss the good old batteries. It feels as if there’s aways something to charge. Being not able to to cook, making a necessary phone call or heating the house can stress one out. It can be good to live a day or two without electricity and see what is needed to be prepared and continue life without stress.

Frequently I have a day without energy. Better not ask how many times the company was called to have a look at what caused it. It’s never a fallen tree. Most likely we are with too many and there’s not enough electricity for all of us. I try to save electricity and try to avoid using two electrical appliances that consume a lot of kilowatt at the same time. If the boiler is on (once a week) I do not use the washing machine or an electric heater. This doesn’t mean others don’t but this way I at least avoid short circuits at home.

They say 30 electric items should be enough. It sounds like a lot but the average family has way more. A phone for each member, a computer, tv, DVD player, radios, kitchen aid, power banks, vacuum cleaner, washing machine, dryer, ventilators, electric kettle, fridge, toys, toaster, electric blanket, lawnmower, heaters, hairdryers and today e-bikes and even electric cars. All that electricity needed coming from power grid ending up in a socket isn’t unlimited. It could be if you use the sun, wind and water but it’s not for the common man. Companies go first and next the wealthy. They even get it cheaper than the people. With us the common man is the one who pays for investing in what they call ‘green energy’. Not that the energy out of the socket is green. It’s the same and as ‘grey’ as all electricity in the country. For green electricity you pay just pay more because they electricity company spends that extra money on windmills, advertising, sponsoring some people and once in a while they plant a tree. No one knows where on earth Sa but they say they do. Hard to believe if you take into consideration nearly every city in the country cuts down trees and tries to get rid of everything that looks green instead of taking care of nature.

Today it’s my electricity-off grid day again. At 3 am there was power at 5 am I was switched off. At that time of the day, it’s needless to call the company. The children left for the bus stop and I stayed in bed.

We have two lamps on batteries, a bag with candles (tea lights) and a jump starter with a light, USB and another plug build in.

At 7 am it was grey outside but no longer pitch dark. Enough light to find my way. I made myself a mug of tea with the warm water in the thermos flask left from yesterday.

At 7:30 am I started the day. Curtains, blinds and windows open and time to get dressed.
I used a bit more warm water from the thermo flask and a washing cloth and soap, to wash myself. For sure this saves water and water is what I don’t have. Without electricity, my water pump cannot function.

My stove by the way, isn’t electric. I cook on butane so I can cook the left water for a hot cup of tea (I don’t need to eat). I can’t do the dishes today and do not read my e-mail. I could because I have a mobile router (charged just like my phone yesterday) but I can do without. I don’t feel like being updated.
Instead I make three crossword puzzles and feed the cats. After I’m finished I go outside. It’s time to feed the wolves. I have two filled water cans plus a filled bucket and in case of need 10 bottles of 2 litres each with my own tap water. I saved yesterday’s rice water too.

Back inside I put the gas heater on. It works on butane too. It can not heat the entire house, not even the room where I sit but it makes a difference. I won’t let it burn the entire day to save gas. Once I no longer feel so cold I switch it off and sit with the hot water bag till the children are back home. That hot water bag is filled with water so I will reuse it.

The bucket with water in the kitchen is filled. I can mop the floor and if necessary flush the toilet with it at the end of the day. With us, toilet paper is rarely flushed through the toilet.

The hallway is still a bit smelly after the cats used the litters and although I left the front door open and mopped with bleach. Time to light a stick incense. I use the flame of the gas heater. No need for Airwick or a spray.

I don’t have a fridge so my food cannot get spoiled which is a plus. In the past twenty years washing machines, electric ovens, laptop batteries and much more were damaged because of electricity issues. This means I never leave adapters or plugs in sockets and what is plugged in is always switched off unless I need it.

Without electricity I can cook, heat parts of the house, I can drink my tea. I can use my phone (powerbanks) and the internet (mobile router). I can heat water on the cooker. The only thing lacking is water.

Since we never watch the telly we won’t miss it. We can do without the news and not interested in watching rehearsals of rehearsals. There are plenty of books to read, we have games, can talk, write and watch a downloaded film if we like.

Water will be the main problem. At this moment I have 24 litres of drinking water but that won’t be enough if I need to provide the animals with water (15 litres is the minimum), wash myself and the children, want something to drink, cook and flush the toilet only once a day. For that, I need about 35-40 litres of water a day and the laundry isn’t included.
During the Summer of 2020, we did six weeks without electricity. It helps if it rains (water for the animals and to flush the toilet) but I can’t count on rain. The only option is buying a generator. A few years ago I thought about it but they are very expensive plus my fear is I cannot pull hard enough to start it. An acquaintance said I could buy his since he bought a new one. He asked 1000 euros for his second hand which is too much for a generator without a warranty. So far I managed without. I can survive one or two perhaps even three days if the children visit school. It would make me feel better to be more independent if it comes to electricity. A solar panel would help as would a generator. Hopefully, I can save enough money to buy one before 2022 is over. I like to be prepared for my children and the animals since the pond I dug is empty for the biggest time of the year.

off-grid light options

How to survive the first 90 days after a collapse?

9 Survival gardening crops

Top 10 barter items

Building your own solar panel


#kittywu #energy #life #blackout

The crowd

Unexpected a big crowd showed up in Amsterdam. The demonstration was cancelled by the mayor because the police/ME would strike. Without police/ME no one can keep all those people safe.

What the mayor didn’t know is she cannot forbid demonstrations. Two people decided to have coffee and the rest -ten thousand people or more- decided to have a coffee too.

The police were present and told everyone to go into a certain street. They did, the crowd followed the orders and guess who was waiting for them? The crowd was trapped in the alley from both sides.

Striking? Again this was a set-up of the police with help of the mayor. Some policemen can use some anger management or better be sacked. Using sticks and dogs on people who pass by, those who already lay flat on the ground is not done.

It happened in The Hague, Amsterdam and so on. Already on January 2,  2022, the police showed its true colours. If the police don’t keep the people safe perhaps we should stop paying their wages.

About 50+ veterans present protected the people and the police. The police attacked them.

Veterans attacked and under fire

The police/ME was told to leave by their superior nevertheless they kept attacking and beating up young and old. Dogs were literally thrown on people and forced to bite.

Mauled by police dogs and beaten up

Demonstration January 2, 2022 – Amsterdam

Please, scroll down. Underneath the text you find more videos about what happened.

Police attacks peaceful protestors first


#kittywu #january #amsterdam #veterans #stopthenonsense

Living in a bubble

“Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.”

Good for a song but not something I would ask for. It started snowing yesterday. Small flakes, big flakes. I watched them falling through the window and had a walk outside twice. If it snows it’s not so cold and the dirty world looks like a better place. Not that it is and it won’t take for long but for a moment it is. It’s an illusion ugliness, dirt, mud and even garbage no longer exist. Snow covers the bad up dead bodies, bad smells included. An old abandoned fallen apart house looks suddenly romantic.
Would, without all those songs about snow, the mindset about snow be different? The mind is easily filled with statements, ideas that aren’t ours. We didn’t figure it out ourselves. It’s easier to believe what someone else wrote instead of getting active and putting their mind at work. It chats faster if knowledge from Wikipedia and mainstream media spits out on social media, the internet and to those we meet.

“I read it on the internet/social media so it’s true” is a sarcastic phrase used. Some teachers warn pupils not to believe everything and so do I.

I tell my children not to believe people on their word, the first message that pops up if they search the internet for an answer. I know if our family searches for an answer to the same question each one of us sees something different. Indeed in this family we nearly daily search for answers to what keeps our minds busy. It’s good for a talk and deeper discussions and to know what’s on each other’s mind. As a parent I want my children to be creative, think and not believe everything that’s said. This was the norm in the society I was raised in. To me it’s part of growing up, adultery to think, invest, build an opinion of your own, act and take responsibility for your deeds. There’s no need to be one of the sheep, to follow the mass and repeat what ‘they’ want us to say. If we all did we would still live in a cave.

The truth behind a story will not be found if you stay in your bubble, close your eyes, aren’t open to others their opinion and are not willing to search for it. It’s easy to say “I didn’t know” but today everyone can know, everyone willing knows. The truth can be found. Most of us have internet and with that access to the entire world. If you read the news read comments too. I learn from different opinions. Commenters are frequently showing the other side of the story, the real news. It’s good to doubt. It’s what science is built on: doubt.
That admired hero can turn out to be no hero at all. A celebrity isn’t necessarily a good person and good deeds done by the wealthy are done for another reason than mentioned. Rich and famous are the most selfish people there are. They follow the 7-sins-rule to get that far and stay at the top.

Mainstream media doesn’t care about the info they feed the world with as long as they get paid. Their task is to realize one mentality, one idea, to set up people against each other, to divide by chaos, to help organize a one-world government. The old Greek, Romans, Osman, the Sun-King (Louis XIV) and Napoleon had the same in mind like the Roman Catholic church and after them many others who love power and to be God themselves. The only thing you need to realize is that all you need is money. There’s no room for empathy. Money is needed to buy people to spread your news, to buy what is needed to control people and governments (food/seeds, banks, multinationals, electricity and medication make a good start), to show your ‘good heart’ in times of need and money keeps your hands clean. Courage is needed to make your hands dirty.

Digging for the truth isn’t an easy task and not everyone has the courage to do so. I start to believe that after I heard someone say “This fight is not meant for me” it’s true.
If someone who rather stays in his bubble adds something good to the world is hard to tell. I assume they add nothing bad either and perhaps it’s a way to keep them sane. Who knows they can help others to relative and put minds at ease in a world of chaos.

Those I know are all different. Different characters, ideas, some have hopes, dreams and ideas about what their future looks like. To realize that the future will never be if… can be hard to deal with.
What comes after the if depends on the person. I know it doesn’t have to do with age. People of all ages, children and the elderly see their hopes, dreams, security taken away. A part of them fights, another part gives up while the biggest part follows and tries not to break their brains too much.

My children are not different although, in a way they are. Why? Because they have me as a parent. It does make a difference for a child who the parents are, what they stand for (norms, values) and how they treat/educate their child. Each one of my children is an individual, a personality, has a strong will and is creative. I always stimulated that. I raised them from a young age to be independent, responsible, how to do, ask for or where to get what. Things schools don’t teach. Life skills, surviving hard times, how to fight for your life, set priorities, pay your bills, knowing what’s right for you is not taught. Creativity, a different opinion, to stand for who you are is killed. As a child, you are drilled and have to cover up who you are, what you think, how you feel, everything that’s personal because what you say or do will be used against you.

“You don’t have a child to throw away,” parents said about their son who’s the murderer of their daughter. They stick to their child, support it. A child that intended to kill them too.

A fact about snow is it won’t stay clean and white and it will not cover what’s ugly forever. If snow melts the confrontation is back. With some luck, you had the necessary break and a relaxing time like I had yesterday. It’s true what they say about a day without electricity. The world is more peaceful and so it is without social media, newspapers, radio and TV even more with a day without the internet, being offline. Without the continued stream of information, opinions, ideas on how to survive, the influence of so many people it’s easier to feel happy and invest time in yourself. It’s important to know yourself. If necessary we all can climb mountains but is there always a need to? Should we fight someone else’s war or ours only? When is a war personal? Is it if you sit in the cold like the people in Kazakhstan? What happened there can happen everywhere. Everywhere where people are still fighting for their rights and do not let emotions like anxiety make hide them inside and die.

On January 6th I wasn’t the only one in this world without electricity. I survived, hardly noticed it because I am prepared. Electricity issues I have had for at least 20 years. Annoying, especially in a world where they force you to use the internet for nearly everything important but the good thing about it is I’m prepared. I learned from it. I learned to do what’s necessary right away. A delay always turns out bad. I learned that from living in the country. A life in the mud, sliding through sheep shit, fighting with insects, a lack of water and the endless cold in a place that is never really warm. To a certain amount you even get used to it just like the expensive costs for living, costs without food, clothes, school expenses, medication, dentistry and so on included.

At the start of 2022, I said to my children we didn’t do bad at all. We have a home, a car, food. The children can visit school and the shops aren’t always empty. Except for a headache or being tired not one of us was ill. We are healthy, more healthy than before, we are still close and laugh together. We didn’t lose any friends or family because of a different lifestyle, poverty, a different opinion or ideas. We all can express ourselves freely. Isn’t that what life should be about?

As a parent, we should support our children. If under all circumstances I don’t know. It’s up to each person to decide what a life is worth. A parent’s, a child’s, a friend’s or your own. We do not share the same energy, feel the drive to act or respond. Taking responsibility isn’t easy for many. Each decision comes with a price. Good or bad, wrong or right, accept or refuse, agree or deny the result of each choice is with what we live for the rest of our lives.

I want my children to see the world. The real world which includes its ugliness and dirt too. There’s no need for them to experience everything themselves but I don’t want them to grow up blind, innocent, without any skills, the knowledge they can survive on their own.

During my childhood, it was common to have a filled pantry. Ours looked like a small grocery store. Three items of each product we used were stored. Since I was raised with the idea you never know there might be a new hunger-Winter I did the same. Later I gave up on it to start with it again a few years ago. I made it easier to survive the Winters. Winters with rain or snow which made it hard to buy groceries. Once we were forced to stay home for nearly six weeks. If there’s no shop nearby it’s more relaxed to have some extra food stored in case of need. It saves me a lot of travelling and time too. Waiting in line I rather do with a filled shopping cart than daily for one or two items.
Just like me, my children are raised by making a shopping list. Each day we write down what is used. Once I go for the groceries I check which amount I can spend and what is most urgently needed. I make a new list and write the price I’m willing to spend behind each article something my parents never did they just bought what they needed no matter what it cost. I hope the way I do it will help my children in the future. A good life under hard circumstances can be lived if you list your priorities and know where the money flows into. With us, these are the costs for living not food and for sure not going out/fun.

Times change and so do the expenses and our needs. Another good reason to invest money in those things you always need unless you don’t eat and don’t care about hygiene and health.
In the next weeks, I will add a bit extra to my pantry. Things I wouldn’t easily buy because I hardly use them but it doesn’t mean I might need them in the future or someone else can.

* salt + sugar (body)
* coffee + tea + cocoa (energy, relax)
* alcohol (disinfectant)
* milk
* chocolate (survival food/good mood)
* washing soda (skin infections)
* bleach (clean water)
* soap (body, laundry, hair)
* socks (protection of the feet)

If it comes to bubbles. A life in the country without close neighbours, TV, radio is living in kind of a bubble too. I like the peace of mind it brings me. I don’t need mainstream media to stay updated on the latest news. I don’t like to be confronted with the ugliness and dirt of other people either. I’m aware of the world outside my bubble. I’m not blind, deaf or keep my mouth shut. To me, it feels nothing will change if I take the easy way, what’s easiest to me. To some, it helps to keep the peace at home, within the family, among friends, at work. I don’t have to deal with these situations which is a plus. I can read, search for answers, reasons if I feel to it and share information if I think it can benefit someone someday. It doesn’t mean all info sent is read carefully I’m aware of that.
At times it’s too much and at times it’s better not to share because it tires out. Not only me but my children and friends too especially if it tends to be bad news only. If all light, fun and peace are taken away it’s hard not to lose one’s mind. What is eaten (read/heard) needs time to be digested.

I know I’m not the greatest mom in the world. As a parent, I could have done better. It takes time to grow into parenthood and it’s hard if you have two jobs, feel tired 24/7, are selfish and feel worried about the future of your children at the same time. Children want to play, have friends, dream, to be left alone instead of being pushed into directions. No child likes to listen to endless stories about the past or the ugly future. No child wants to be brainwashed but it happens. It happens for generations, it happened to us, to me. It needs courage and energy to fight (against all odds) and we all know not everyone is right for that job. Most of us will always need and follow a leader because our mind tells us it’s the right thing to do. We only kick at our parents, fight them and say: I hate you.


#kittywu #parenting #life #bubble

I don’t need to eat!

Before I fell asleep I told myself: I don’t need to eat! I repeat and repeat this sentence to change my mindset. I don’t need to eat. I don’t need to eat.

I watched a programme about ‘living with Praha”. The lady tells how her travel into this lifestyle started. It took her ten years. A lifestyle she tried out and developed into a Western version.

“I live here not in India so the Indian style doesn’t make sense to me.”

As years passed by she and her partner tried out what was possible. Back then she couldn’t find anyone nearby who didn’t eat, didn’t need to eat. She wanted to meet, see and touch such a person to know if “living from the air” is real. That woman looks very healthy to me, she’s filled with positivity, shines and turns out to be over 50 years old. Interesting is to hear she once was Miss Fitness (her ex-partner bodybuilder). At that time she kept a tight diet lived on proteins, healthy food and used all kinds of vitamins and minerals to stay healthy and build muscles.

“We are told to have three meals a day. If you sport six. We are raised to empty our plates. If you do not eat you’ll die. All these lessons, warnings are stored in not only the brain but each cell of the body. Only if that information is deleted, if you believe you don’t need to eat you can take the energy your body needs out of the world, everything around and inside you.”

This information fascinates me and that’s why I tell myself: I don’t need to eat.
I’m not there yet but the start is made. The need to eat already left me long ago. As a child, I had a hard time when it comes to eating. Too much, too hard to digest always fighting with my intestines but I had to eat, was forced to eat. I ear out of habit till today although not as much as during my childhood.

It isn’t the first time I hear about someone who says: I don’t need to eat. Before this lady, it was a young man who said it while standing outside on the streets eating chocolate. The chocolate was just for the taste not because he needed food, he stated. How seriously can you take a person eating with a bar of chocolate and a full mouth?

“I don’t need to eat”, makes a good mantra if you keep repeating it. We know how the mind works. It isn’t difficult to make the brain believe whatever it needs to believe or what others want you to believe. If people worldwide within a month if not a week believe there is a killer virus the brain can believe everything. So to me, it’s a good start to say: I don’t need to eat. Just saying it won’t do the trick and “I don’t need to” is not the same as “I don’t eat”.

The very first time I heard and saw a man who said he never ate was years ago. That elderly man impressed me. He was dancing in his very white, minimalistic modern furniture living. He said: I don’t eat. To me, this is one step further. He didn’t eat. My first thought was: no groceries, no dishes, no toilet paper needed. Imagine how much money and time you save if you don’t eat. It’s great for the environment too. No waste, no garbage and if you don’t eat there won’t be many footprints and you are independent.

The breatharian says s/he doesn’t need to eat. Just breathing provides in every need of the body and mind. I tried to find proof. People, I can believe they do not (need to) eat at all. I didn’t find a single person on the internet. It turns out breatharians do eat. Some once a week, others three times a week. Even if it’s just a piece of fruit they eat. To me, this lifestyle sounds more like Keto the diet I started with in 2021 together with the youngest. Intermitted fasting is what we do and it wasn’t as difficult as we thought it might be. Most likely the reason can be found in the fact we already rarely had breakfast and our normal is two meals a day and one of these meals can be a snack.

Living with Praha is according to the lady I watched not living by breathing alone. Perhaps the difference is just in the name and can it be called keto, fastening or Ramadan too. It’s clear if you don’t need to eat it’s important to focus on something else. How you feel, your body and mind. You need to stay alert and ask yourself if you feel hungry: Why is it I want to eat?

If you watch people eating many spoon it inside with no attention paid to what they eat. Not because they feel hungry but are afraid they might be without food. We are raised with the idea we should eat. If you don’t eat you die or you are ungrateful because so many would love to have that plate in front of you. It’s how I’ve been raised. No way I could leave the table if I didn’t finish my plate.

“On average, an adult has 100 to 150 grams of faeces a day. In the course of human life, the intestines process an average of 65,000 kg of food and drink (the weight of 12 elephants).”

Can you imagine how much poop that is you produce in your life? I read the toxic out of food is stored in every cell in our body and the intestines can contain 1-4 kilograms of faeces. Imagine what your inside looks like.

How to start a Pranic lifestyle?
What I understand is step-by-step. Your mind has to be ready to let feelings take over, to give up on the control. Everything taught turns out not to be true if you can live on breathing alone. There’s no need to eat times a day, to take vitamins, minerals to stay healthy.
More than one person said so and proves there are other methods to stay alive, to feel energetic and look good. With the right mindset everything is possible so who knows it’s the power of positive thinking or simply the relief of no longer depending on others. If there’s no need to eat, to some even no need to drink 50% of all our problems are solved. The only step left is to break the habit of preparing and eating meals.

I still need to buy food and cook because I have children which means shopping and spending money is included. Still, I do feel relieved I no longer need to eat and can let it be. Just like the vitamins and minerals since it isn’t said I need what the average is. As long as I feel good it’s fine enough.

By the way: those people who don’t eat say they have more energy, sleep fewer hours and see colours brighter and if they do eat once in a while -whatever they like-the stomach and intestines do their job. Sounds as if a lot we learned about food and our body belongs to the world of fables.

A man in India was mentioned who didn’t eat from the age of 9 till his death (88 years old?). His organs were tested and everything looked fine and healthy.
I couldn’t find any information about him so if you know more please, leave a comment or the link to that article.


#kittywu #keto #lifestyle #praha #pranic #breatharian

Good cop, bad cop

This expression I heard for the first time in a film. It doesn’t mean the police in the Netherlands doesn’t use this trick to frame people although, they always promote themselves as the good guy. ‘That cap fits everyone’ is one of the slogans they once hoped to attract more people with. Most people know ‘the police isn’t your best friend’ (another slogan) which makes joining those uniforms tough especially if you don’t agree with what presently is going on.
The police only want the best of the best unless they are criticized, out of money and take low educated immigrants to control their fellows. The government always ignored the fact more police is needed. The expression ‘more blue on the streets’ was never realized. If the police are needed they never show up.

Today we finally see more blue nearly everywhere. Most blue are not police officers in uniform but BOAs. Not everyone can be a cop but everyone can be a BOA. The training is short, the education doesn’t matter but wearing uniforms is possible, so is commanding others and arresting innocent people and end all fun.
As soon as police and BOA can’t take care of whatever is needed the ME will take over. Even more than the police, they love to beat up innocent people, use water cannons, sticks and dogs.  It doesn’t matter if people just watch, pass by or surrender and lay on the street to be handcuffed. They keep kicking and hitting while they force a trained dog to attack and bite in their throats.

Welcome to the Netherlands. The country where politicians always know better, point with a finger at other nations. Just to be clear: we Dutch people do not all agree but can also not get rid of these puppets. Since the elections of March 2021, they reign on and made clear they don’t care about anyone. We know they are the puppets used for a ‘higher goal’ whatever that goal may be but that doesn’t mean they did not choose to do the job. They do it for power, fame, they love to dictate and do not have the courage to say: Forget about it. This is so wrong.

Do I feel pity for all those policemen who claim they have too much work? No, I don’t. Most of those active policemen love the fact they are in control. Those BOAs aren’t any different. What many of them do isn’t different from what the NSB did 80 years ago. If there’s so much aggression, violence is shown by a person against a peaceful protester this says everything about what we call ‘de aard van het beestje’ (a person’s character). As long as the protester isn’t black no one cares, no one gives a damn. Shouldn’t that be a sign to be alert?

If it comes to protestors I wonder how come in a multicultural country like the Netherlands mainly Dutch people fight for freedom. Kind of strange if you take into consideration that most immigrants stated their life was at stake, they fled because they lost every right and above all their freedom. If freedom, a life in a free tolerant country without hate being spread and security count why not stand on the barricades? Aren’t these people the first ones able to recognize how dictatorship, fear and hate spread among people and genocide starts? Do they expect others to fight for their rights and freedom again?
Can be but after I read some letters today about what people learned in 2021 that chance is small.


‘If a door is closed God opens a window’ a window of opportunities to those who use it to get out. There’s a world outside, a better one for all those people willing to reunite. No matter what ‘they’ say, how much fear ‘they’ spread that new great world already started and that better world isn’t the great reset.

Who joins? All kinds of people. Doctors, teachers, virologists, bakers, farmers, caretakers, butchers, plumbers, artists, lawyers, journalists, judges, young and old and even police officers who don’t agree with the violence used by their (former) colleagues. These are creative strong people with courage and skills aware of what they want. They have something in common and are willing to invest in a healthy, better life.

Indeed it’s scary to start something new but it’s exciting too. All those scapegoats pointed at…many of them already made that new start. Their life improved in 2021. New challenges, new friends, prepared for a blackout (no electricity), a different life but not necessarily a bad one.

It depends on what your norms and values are, what is most important to you what that new life will look like. To some it’s a lifestyle filled with high tech that will protect them, to others, it’s being one with mother nature and responsibility for their deeds even if this means a life without high security, police, BOA or ME.

Is polarization the new normal?
I think this is what ‘they’ -with help of the mainstream media- want us to believe. If a message is repeated the brain starts believing it’s true and behaviour changes.
Many of us know how it feels to be different, not being accepted, bullied, being the scapegoat. Divide and reign is the slogan of each dictator. It’s easy to make the mass believe each lie told, to set up, play good cop bad cop and make people hate each other. If people fight each other they no longer see what’s going on for real. Once anxiety takes over there’s no room for the mind to doubt, to wonder or question what is the plan behind the ‘reason’.

Whatever you decide. It doesn’t matter if you fight, dance or stay home but please, don’t take freedom and other people for granted. Once you gave up on the right to speak, to travel, to read and watch what you like there won’t be a way back. Keep in mind no dictator will give up on power, feel mercy with those he dictates and will kill with a snap of his finger. You might need the help of other people.

NSB – Nationaal-Socialistische Beweging (National Socialist Movement a political party that changed into Nazism and helped the Germans. A NSB-er is a traitor.)

BOA – Buitengewoon Opsporings Ambtenaar (special investigating officer)

ME – Riot police


#kittywu #politics #life #norms #values

How bad

This morning I bumped into this link about how bad the injection you had is or… is not.
Is not because the opposite of bad is good and some injections do a good job. So if you have your batch (lot) number at hand you can check it out. If these are the real numbers depends on the doctors and as we know most people will never mention a side effect. Side effects are common therefore normal even if you lose a leg. By the way, those who die will not complain either and most of them are old, vulnerable or useless anyway. It’s why the jab is invented. To save the world. To save the elderly and vulnerable for worse.

It sounds odd to me worldwide not everyone receives the same Pfizer jab if it comes to the ingredients. Shouldn’t that be the case? I mean Moderna is Moderna and J&J uses its own (secret) ways to make us immune with only one jab. At least that was the idea back then.

Back then was only a few months ago at the time the holidays started and we loved to have fun, wanted to travel and not be labelled as an egocentric anti-vaxxer which today we all are unless we go for the 4th booster.
Biden, Bo-Jo, Fauci, De Jonge to start with are selfish because they didn’t take that shot. It’s meant for the mass only. It’s the mass who needs to care about the vulnerable, the elderly, the environment. Mainly the mass in Europe.
The elderly and vulnerable are locked in, not even allowed to go out, to celebrate, visit a cinema or go live with their son.

I wonder what all those empty words, those copy-pasted phrases are about. I’m 100% sure we do nothing for the sake of others. What we do we do for us.
We took and take the jab to be able to go out. We want to visit a pub and go abroad alone. We don’t have the intention to take the elderly and vulnerable along we rather dump them somewhere invisible in a nursery home. All those people die alone, at home or in a hospital bed. We don’t care just shout out loud which is enough proof. Proof to ourselves we are that good guy and the rest -those who sing and dance- are the bad selfish ones with the poisonous breath.
How bad this world became within only a short time.



Photo: pixabay.com


#kittywu #health #life #jab #shot

Danser encore in 2021

Looking back 2021 wasn’t bad.
Why not? I mainly forgot what happened back then, from the beginning of the ‘old’ year till the end. My memory is short it prefers to forget what is bad, why it went wrong, the role I played.

January’s 2021 lockdown, the cold no longer hurt me today. I survived, lived my life and did it my way.

February’s pain and struggles are past. Not one single member of my family, friend, acquaintance, neighbour or villager lost life by a virus ’cause the epidemic stopped in May 2020. Locked in their homes many did suffer from depressions caused by tyranny and false prophecies, schedules that always turned out to be wrong. I focused on cryptocurrencies. No Valentine in 2021 for me.

March had his way and so had April. Great news the government resigned, left. It turned out to be a hoax. New elections, more corruption, the counted votes were falsified. The conspiracy theories turned out to be true. How can that be? This is not America.

April came to an end. Spring was late but the Easter bunny hopped by while ‘Dancer encore’  (dancing on/continue dancing) travels through Europe. The protest song is about the fight for freedom. No face masks, QR code, being forced into experimental injections.
More good news the shops were never really empty. Toilet paper piled up. There can always be found something to eat even after they increased the prices again.

May. I no longer counted all those lockdown days. I stayed home for 27.5 weeks from November 2020 on in a row.
At the end of this month, life is back to a normal we never had before.
Back to school, back to work, mowing the lawn, staying at home to make an income. I can still pay my bills, no debts. The promised kitten -December 2020- to my child finally arrives.

June here I come. Trying to catch some sun. Laundry outside, the fight with stable flies, ants and stink bugs.

The shock of being bitten by a thick twice. I’m still not over it. It scared me more than anything in the past years. The doctor would say: You have corona. So I stayed away. You can’t have everything you know. I lack trust in the honesty and policy of doctors, specialists and all those terrorist who rather see me dead than alive.

How to get the car tested? Repairments in and outside.

July without restrictions. No one needs a jab. Kids at work. I enjoy the sun till the insects make me run and hide inside. Should I go to the pool? My daughter found another job.
What did that minister say? 2G? What the heck is that?

August. Angry feelings, irritation about a friend… I had to end this new friendship.
What a relief to be free. After all these years I’m quite grateful for that. He is too pushy, rude, make bad jokes on behalf of others, shows no respect and scolds me on the phone. Are you kidding me?
I sent a parcel to my daughter for her birthday. I don’t want it to arrive too late.

Fun with the bus-kid. We bought an e-bike.

I repair walls, paint, collect wood because I need the timber. We saw and saw. Worries about how to survive the cold Winter.

September means back to school again. Summer holidays are over. It’s my daughter’s birthday and I can’t be present. It eats me. I ask a friend to represent me and I’ll organize a surprise party from a distance. No one should be alone, forgotten. I order more cake than anyone can eat plus American cookies and candies.

That parcel I sent? It only caused stress. After a month it was delivered with… me. There was no track to be traced. Thirty-eight euros lost, complaints ignored by the Dutch post who left me with empty hands. I didn’t intend to but I sent it again.

I already expected the ‘no’. I can’t get my car tested and no longer drive it. On the 18th I bought a car for the bus-kid.

October. What can I say? Autumn is on its way and it was short. No rain, no mushrooms everything is grey. It’s already cold inside.
My best friend forgot about mine and my youngest’s birthday.
So far it’s a year with hardly any rain. I finally caught wasps in bottles and jars with homemade lemonade of 2015.

November first I gave up on Whatsapp and read about the Eugenics’ plan to depopulate 90% of the people.

What’s new? A video about depopulation (1930). It’s not a tale, no science fiction, no fiction, no black mirror this is the world we are living in.

Black mirror? (see Netflix – Nosedive)

Life goes on. No lockdown yet. The vaccines don’t work more shots on the way. We all are healthy and still have a job.
My child builds a computer and had a check-up at the school dentist. A check that doesn’t fix anything. Only jabbed people can visit the dentist.
My eyes are tested for free.
It finally started to rain. So far it was a dry year. Fog, grey skies and short days are back. I sleep more.

December. Saint Nicholas’ December 5th parcels are late. Sent to the wrong country (PostNL again).
I’ll stay home. We all hope for a lockdown to have a break.
The bus-kid was sent home with a headache and tested virus-positive on the next day. We never received any proof of that. No QR code either.

My new glasses make me nauseous. They turn out to be wrong.

Ten days quarantine for the entire family. The child is relieved and happy, not one moment sick and very talkative. I and the youngest have a headache for a day too.
Lockdowns and quarantines are good for saving money. I need more cash, to minimalize, declutter, build my own paradise.

I made room for a soberly decorated X-mas tree.

It’s four months later. Thanks to the French post I received the shipping costs for the returned parcel back.

December was a month of hardly any (cooked) meals. On the last day of the year I baked 50 oliebollen and 25 apple beignets outside to celebrate the last day of the year. It was sunny and at least 12°C.

You may say what’s the difference because 2022 sounds like twenty twenty (2020) too (2) but it will only be another 2020 if we allow it. If we forget how life was before the WHO changed the definition of an epidemic. If we easily forget about all the lies told, refuse to see how governments and media worldwide tell the same story and change it rapidly.
It will be another 2020 if we rather believe it was a virus that killed, divided and wiped out all humanity instead of restrictions made by WEF governments no one elected. Governments who don’t care about the elderly or any longer applaud for caretakers. They rather shoot them dead because natural immunity doesn’t exist in their mind. Goverments who no longer care about the constitution, freedom of speech, life that matters.

Since the elections in March 2021 those ministers who resigned, who said they left, those who are not chosen by the people still reign. The King goes on vacation, hunts and celebrates birthdays during lockdowns with over one hundred people. His X-mas speech started with a new version of and a changed bible and was mainly about climate control. Do we really write history together?

You wonder too what the next generations will say about you and if history will be changed to make it all look better or differently? Let’s see what they say in one till five years from today.


#kittywu #life #overview #pandemic #thoughts

Daily routine

Saint Nicholas didn’t visit us but there was a bag full of presents. I had hot chocolate and as the front doorbell rang and dad opened the door pepernoten and candies were thrown inside. I think that was the best part of the day and night.
I watched how Piet knocked at the door of someone living across the street. I don’t know who sent Piet but it was a nice gesture. I collected all the candies from the floor. My mother does not even say that it’s dirty.
I have a piglet made of marzipan, a new book and boots. I don’t like the boots because they look cold and are not for children. I know my feet will hurt but I didn’t say anything except ‘Thank you Saint Nicholas’ which everyone does after opening a present.

December 5, 2021

Today was like usual. We start the day with a prayer. Next, the teacher tells a story from the bible. After that, the teacher asked how we celebrated yesterday. I just listened. I feel tired if I arrive at school. I can’t just hop out of bed, get dressed, grab a slice of bread and leave for school. I have to wake up at 5:30 am and work hard, be scolded at, beaten up and kicked for nearly three hours till school starts. So I sat at my desk and tried to look interested and not to show how I feel. I wish I was invisible.

December 6, 2021

Ellen asked me if I can play with her tomorrow. I’m not sure if I can not even if I asked my mother first. She can say yes but at the moments I leave to change her mind or she says she never agreed.
My mother always changes her mind and if she blames me. She says I lie but the one who does is she. I told Ellen I would like to but I have to ask my mother first and she isn’t always at home. I think it’s partly true and partly lied. She isn’t always home and if she can be in bed or at work or it’s too dangerous to ask her because everything I say or do triggers her to hit and punish me.

December 7, 2021

She made a scene slammed the door and left. She said if she would have an accident with the car it’s my fault. I drive her crazy.
I don’t know what to say. I think she is crazy. I don’t know when it started but she has always been like that. Crazy.
Grandpa said the geese said he is crazy. My grandmother said her mother was in a madhouse. Perhaps she was crazy or no one liked to take care of her. My grandmother is angry with her mother, my mother with my grandmother and me. I just want her to be out of my life. My mother will never like me I only make her angry and unhappy.

I stayed home. I don’t know when she’ll be back but if someone just scolded you, hit and accused you of things you never did or thought it’s no fun to play at a friend’s home.
I’m not allowed to use the phone. I couldn’t tell Ellen I cant come over but I think she already knows.

December 8, 2021

After school, I had gymnastics again. Nothing to write about. I’m going to read my book in my room. My mother is at work in the room next to mine. I hear the voices and people walk up and down the stairs.

December 9, 2021

Laundry day, clean bedsheets, polishing shoes, setting tables, cleaning up and school. My mother was home for lunch which is the only cooked meal. Today it’s leftover day. The only great meal of the week. I had the Endive stew with bacon. Baked with butter in a pan is the best.

December 10, 2021

I told dad I don’t want to go hiking. I don’t like it. The bus drive makes me sick, my feet hurt. He said he would talk about it with my mother. The skirt is cold and too small and my coat isn’t warm. Why can boys wear warm trousers and girls have to catch a cold?
I left after I did my tasks so my parents have a day without me. The only good thing was the pea soup with smoked sausage. Not much but better than the canned soup of Unox we eat on Saturdays.

December 11, 2021

Sunday school time. It’s better than the church. After the story, we sang songs. I’m making a cover for the candle.

Too much food, my belly hurts again. I don’ like those puddings my mother cooks. Those tiny coloured pieces make me gag. I can’t help it. Shouldn’t a dessert be a treat? Why am I forced to eat it?

December 12, 2021

School started with Christmas decorations. There’s a huge tree in the hallway and the auditorium. Each class has a tree too. Before the school closes they give the trees away to families who don’t have one.
So fast Sint Nicholas is forgotten.

December 13, 2021

We do not have a tree yet. There is a Christmas wreath on the front door and an Advent wreath on the table in the living room. I think it’s for the visitors. In the daytime, we don’t use the living. It’s cleaned or the door is closed. As I came home my mother was hanging the star of Bethlehem in front of the window. It’s made of paper and there’s a light in it. Most people who live here have a star.

December 14, 2021

On Wednesdays, I have school till 12:15. My mother had a better mood for a change. It doesn’t mean her mood can’t change any minute. She tried to have a conversation with the housekeeper and kept reading from the bible short. I was grateful for that. She can’t read, talk or sing in a normal way. Her voice hurts my ears which makes it hard to focus.
She said she would go buying a tree and allowed me to watch the telly. I hope she won’t be back too early and in a bad mood. I feel nervous if she’s home. I never know how she will act.

December 15, 2021

The tree is huge and outside in the garden. It stays outside till Saturday. On Saturday she will take it inside and the decorating starts. I don’t look forward to helping her. Finger crossed nothing will go wrong. Of course, there will because Christmas trees lose their needles.

Gymnastic again.

December 16, 2021

Friday again. I’m tired of everything. I was sent to bed after the meal at 5:30 pm. It’s fine with me. My parents always fight.

December 17, 2021

A kid’s diary

The face in the mirror

My wish list

One, two, three, four, five, six…

Bad memories stay



#kittywu #diary #childhood #childabuse

No rabbit for Christmas

Christmas dinner?
Food habits have changed through the years. Just like many habits, norms, values and rights. What once was common, normal, the right thing to do disappeared or is wrong. At least it is if it comes to the common people aka mass.
I don’t care about ‘woke’. Things are like they are and woke has nothing to do with it. A lack of education but above all knowing your history or the history of the country you live in, the habits you adapted has.

The grandfather of a schoolmate -primary school- did breed them. He had a shed filled with rabbits. That shed wasn’t much different from the huge shed my grandfather had. His shed was filled with rows of cages. Cages with chinchillas.
Those rabbits were not meant to keep for pets. They were food. Food for celebration days like Christmas. Even the poorer could have a Christmas dinner if they kept a rabbit alive till Christmas.

It’s hard to believe but today rabbit is food for the rich just like a good steak or meat in general. The habit of keeping your own future meat -chickens, rabbits, geese- in your garden or shed is no longer done. Neighbours will complain about the noise, smell and call you an animal molester.
At home, we never had rabbits for dinner. Christmas dinner was at my grandparents’ house and we had goose. One of grandpa’s geese and it was big enough for the entire family of nine people and it was tasty. As a child, I knew a goose is an animal. I knew what it looked like alive, it was killed and the piece of meat wasn’t produced in a factory (today children might say with a 3D printer). Did the food on my plate make me feel miserable? The answer is no. The goose had a great free life in an orchard that was at least six if not eight times bigger than my grandparents’ garden.

The first and only time I had a rabbit for a meal was at a friend’s home. I was surprised they served it. It was about 20-25 years ago and I said to my daughter: Look it is Flappie.
She shrugged and said: I don’t care it tastes good. I always admired my child for that. No matter what people say if it tastes good is it good and she doesn’t lose her appetite because of what others say, emotions or the animal/ingredients are different from what the norm is. Indeed she knows who Flappie is but Flappie’s abruptly unexpected death was his faith. 

The song about Flappie is my favourite Christmas song (I added the original Dutch version underneath). I still shed a tear if I hear it. I see the upset child, hear the tears in its voice and understand the anger. The anger of not respecting that Flappie belonged to the kid. The lies and stupid joke the father made. I grin if I listen how the story ends. I love the dark humour. Believe I know how it feels if you see your father with different eyes and understand why that evil man’ ended up in the shed. Till today Flappie is not forgotten. After all these years Youp van het Hek still makes his point. Who knows he even managed we Dutch people gave up on eating rabbits.

I remember my first meatless Christmas very well.
A magazine of a supermarket provided in it. An omelette with spinach. It was quite disappointing, tasteless. A pathetic meal which wasn’t even cheap because eggs and spinach are expensive especially in December. I don’t believe I’ve had great Christmas meals since then.
It was an economic crisis again. From one year to the next restaurants decided to stay closed during Christmas while only a few years back reservations had to be made eight till six months earlier. Today it’s the lockdown why restaurants are closed if they aren’t bankrupt already.

While others cooked at home I lost my appetite. To be honest I don’t see any point in spending a lot of money to cook for people who don’t like to travel if the weather is bad. I’ve always been the cook, the one with the stress, expenses and dirty dishes and if it comes to my children. Little children don’t care if they eat rabbit, hamburger, bread with chocolate sprinkles, chips or pancakes. What counts for them is we share quality time and they can do what they like.
So I gave up on the cooking ceremony, the new clothes, on inviting people and started our own Christmas ceremony. A tree with lights and red ribbons, pyjamas day, hot chocolate or anise milk, watching films together and sleeping longer. We eat if we feel to it. It’s fine if the meal is skipped or we have some snacks or chocolate.

What did we have for a meal on the first Christmas day December 25, 2020?
Next to hot chocolate milk, tea and bread I fried chips. The only reason I did was that it wasn’t freezing outside -I fry outside- and I didn’t want the chips to get spoiled.

December 26th I baked pancakes for brunch (breakfast + lunch). Two pancakes for each. One with cheese (Gouda + Parmesan) the other with banana (one banana in slices per pancake).

In the Netherlands, pancakes are originally not eaten for breakfast. Pancakes are more like dinner. Our pancakes are thick and big. Usually, people eat only one. If you like to see what our pancakes look like you can visit one of the many ‘pannenkoeken restaurants’ in the country. At home, people bake them differently and not as big. I don’t have a pan big enough and if so no plates.

The most known pancake is made out of milk, egg, wheat flour, salt, and vanilla sugar. It’s eaten with sugar or ‘stroop’ (syrup of sugar). The next famous pancake is with bacon or apple. Today pancakes are eaten with nearly everything on them. Let’s say what we put on a slice of bread or pizza can be found on a pancake too. It all depends on the creativity of the cook and the taste of the customer.

I’m not too crazy about pancakes (raised my youngest with pancakes) and if I bake them I frequently use oatmeal flakes. With oatmeal, the pancake is thicker, taste different and it fills the stomach. In a way, the smell reminds me of porridge.

* 1 mug oatmeal flakes (no need to use oatmeal flour)
* water
* 2-3 eggs
* salt
* wheat flour
* butter or oil to bake

I don’t add oil to the dough and didn’t use vanilla sugar in my recipe because a sweet pancake with cheese smells and taste so good.

Baking trouble/your pancakes fall apart?
* If you use oatmeal you need something extra to make a good dough. Eggs are helpful and so is wheat flour.
* Too much egg makes a pancake taste like an omelette.
* You didn’t use enough flour.
* You turned the pancake too fast.
*  You use the wrong pan. Some pans make it hard to bake a decent pancake.
*  The fire is too low or too high.

Pancakes shouldn’t look dark brown or burned it’s unhealthy.

How to
* Oatmeal flakes in a bowl.
* Add water to it (let it soak become soft)
* Add salt and eggs.
* Add water stir, flour stir and so on till you have the amount of dough you need.
You can let the dough rest if you like. It can become thicker because of the oatmeal. You can add some extra water if it’s too thick.

Make sure your pan is hot before you start baking. It’s nonsense the first pancake is always bad. Once the pan is hot put some butter or oil in it and add the dough.
Be sure the dough in the pan is dry before you turn it.
Next, you can put cheese or banana on it.
I fold the pancake so the cheese can melt and the banana is warm faster.
If you like you can turn the folded pancake to its other side for a short time.

The pancake with banana is served with powder sugar. I used a coffee grinder for it (works with rice, oatmeal flakes, nuts too).

My children love these pancakes. It’s more like a dessert, a treat than an ordinary pancake. Thicker pancakes save me time plus the thin ones are always cold at the time I finished baking and we eat. Another plus is the cold bananas are eaten instead of being ignored and thrown away. I don’t like to spoil food. So Christmas was again without rabbit, goose, deer, turkey, chicken or steak but we had chocolate and enough to eat, time for each other and no piled up dirty dishes, stress or expenses I can’t afford. We ate what I had stored and in 2022 I’ll see what the prices of groceries look like.


#kittywu #christmas #rabbit #habit #recipe #oatmeal #pancakes

The thing about cryptocurrencies – BCH

For how many euro/dollars you invested in cryptocurrencies?
Most of you will say I do not buy Bitcoin, BCH or even Steem. About Bitcoin cash they say it is the crypto to use, not to invest in and to keep in the wallet. When someone starts with this phrase everyone starts saying it which feels a bit odd to me.

Do we really believe BCH is the key to our financial problem or are we copy-pasting the message -by now the BCH-slogan- because we feel obliged to say so? All heads need to be turned in the same direction right after all the place where we can receive that precious currency for free should be cherished.
If someone invests in us, rewards us, some loyalty is the right thing to do. Besides that if BCH isn’t promoted, not many will invest and without investors no one will benefit from it.

Imagine what happens if we all give up on the same currency today. Those who invested in it sell it or swap it for another coi . This means the trust will be gone. There’s plenty of choice by the way. All those (big) investors who sold their BCH could buy ETH, Steem, HOT or some other crypto with an attractive shortcut like ADA (sounds like a girl’s name) or they massively invest in Monero because this currency is what cryptocurrencies should be about: anonymously which can be very important in the nearest future.

The great reset is a fact. The plans are unfolding. Worldwide countries are bankrupt because governments spent and keep spending money they don’t have. Banks use 90% of people their bank accounts and talk many into loans they can’t afford to pay off. What we know as money lost it’s value.
Officially it can not even be called money because if it comes to the definition of money -six rules are set for what is allowed to be called money- the euro, USA dollar or any other currency doesn’t follow these six rules. Printing extra money is not the answer to a financial crisis. A crisis governments worldwide created. I dare to say it is done on purpose.
If it comes to finances every 30-40 years a country has a new crisis, a new coin and financial system. Governments and banks are always bankrupt, broke and corrupt.

BCH may sound like a great solution but isn’t the only one. To be honest I always wondered why so many currencies exist. Why not one coin for all? The idea behind the invention of Bitcoin (BTC) was already gone as more crypto lovers started investing and using it three years ago. If you invest in or use crypto you can be traced, you are not anonymous, you do leave a footprint behind. Your trace is saved on the blockchain forever. The kind of forever governments, dictators who love the Chinese social credit system are interested in. The system we all are heading to.

I wish I could use my cryptocurrencies for my groceries, to pay my rent and gas and electricity bill but I can’t. In my country, hardly anyone accepts these payments. Not in Steem, Bitcoin Cash, Bitcoin, Ethereum or Monero. If shops, entrepreneurs don’t accept it it’s simple: BCH is not for spending, is not suitable to use in every country and personally I don’t know how to change that.
I asked around. I asked several people with a business if it’s possible to pay in Bitcoin cash but to most, it’s too difficult -or complicated- to learn more about this new payment method. I thought all those lockdowns and extra time would be used well by the present entrepreneurs to invest in a new business model included with new paying methods after all that’s what we are heading to anyway.

Although the Netherlands is called a western country, modern, we are limited if it comes to our payment methods.
The most wanted payment is the debit card and we are forced into online payments. Instead of a debit card, you can pay with your phone -switch NFC on- or with the chip implanted by a tattoo shop in your hand (strange since any doctor, vet or idiot can plant a chip). The wallet with cash changed into a plastic card, next smartphone followed by a chip.

If you no longer see, can touch currency you lose the value of it, will always be short and it doesn’t matter with what you are paying. Euro, Dollar, Steem, Florin or Litecoin.
We pay with numbers or numbers behind the comma and lose track. How much Bitcoin cash do you pay for bread 0.0045 or 0.00045 or? Most people can hardly count and if bread is needed we pay whatever is asked.

“I don’t understand the benefit of paying with cryptocurrencies,” someone said to me lately, “nothing loses its value so fast as cryptocurrencies.”

I can’t deny that. It’s true. The value of each cryptocurrency is measured in dollars or euros or whatever currency is used in the country you live. Today 1 BCH can be 600 euros and next day 300 euros only. If you don’t need to use it to eat and invest it doesn’t matter. If you spend it the price of bread increased by from one day to the next with 50%.

How does paying with cryptocurrencies work for you and me?
It only works if you get it for free but not if you need to buy it first. Buying already means paying a fee.
If I like to pay with cryptocurrencies I need to search for entrepreneurs online willing to accept it. They can not easily be found. They do not have a sign on their door, frequently they do not even mention it on their website. Another negative aspect is only very expensive items or services can be paid for it besides marijuana.

Source: pixabay.com These coins don’t exist.

The situation in real life in the Netherlands is like this:
Just the bank’s debit card, NFC, chip in your hand or online payments in euros are accepted. No credit cards, cheques, cryptocurrencies. Soon no cash either. The beggars on the street will need a bank account and pin chip reader or better ask for food, gloves, a shirt or bread. Here each card reader is different and most card readers cannot even read a foreign card no matter if maestro is printed on it.

If you like to invest in cryptocurrencies you need a third person and to be registered.
Name, ID, address, bank account, social security number, photo, where the money comes from you invest and so on. If you give all your personal information it may be clear there is no anonymity. You are registered, they know you, can find you, watch you and check you out. Not only you as a person but they track your payments too and if they check you they do not give you your ‘money’. This happened to me several times which means you do not receive it fast unless you call several hours till days fast.

Investing in cryptocurrencies sounds interesting but isn’t easy either is spending it.
Most of us need a third party to change the investments into a currency we can use. We do not buy our groceries with Steem or Bitcoin cash but a different currency and lost our anonymity as soon as we needed to give our data to a stranger we know nothing about. Someone we need and who shares this info with banks, the government, the taxes department, the police or anyone who asks for it.

It’s great to invest but I admit that I’m worried.
Worried because so many of us count on it because this cash helps us through the cold Winters in our life so we can afford to eat, buy a little extra while some can even buy a house with it. That’s great but what will happen if our entire life depends on electricity and they shut us down, steal from us or close down all the accounts? Will there be a way to survive without electricity, online payments and digital currencies? Is there a personal plan B? Will we go back to paying with bricks, shells use ancient trading systems or go for a skill/task for a meal?

I hope there will be a future for cryptocurrencies. I hope all the benefits it once started with will be back including easier and more ways to adapt and use currencies. I’m sure this is possible since Monero does it and the governments are going to use that easier way to force the nation into their new payment system. A system where your account will be closed if you are a shopaholic, doctor, scientist, offend people, bought too much plastic, meat, medication, didn’t keep social distance, are jobless, vulnerable, share ‘crazy’ ideas about one god, democracy, decentralisation, show interest in history, watch horror or sf-films, listen to music, drink lemonade or coffee, eat candies or refuse to be chipped.

To answer my question: i invest. I just need to figure out how it can benefit me or my children in the -nearest- future. I might set this as a goal for early 2022. The clock ticks.


#kittywu #bch #cryptocurrency #investing #spending #future

Why? A Christmas tale

It was dark as she woke up. Was it night or early in the morning? She couldn’t tell. The clock was ticking. In a way it was comforting but at times it made her furious too. Not that she showed the anger inside. She knew she had to wait. Wait till they had time for her, told her it was time to get out of bed and start the day. Why was it up to them?
She knew the time had changed but that didn’t matter. She was no baby still she had to go to bed early and came out late. Not because she needed much sleep, her rest but because they, those who took care of her had a life too. They needed their privacy, relaxing time or however they called it. She wasn’t a priority to them or anyone just a job that had to be done. Day after day all she did was wait till it was her turn. How many times in her life had people told her her time would come? Lies, it all been lies. She turned onto her left side and pushed the pillows aside. All those stupid cushions. How could anyone sleep on them? They hurt her neck, back and head. Why wasn’t she allowed to sleep without? It was her bed, her night rest and her body.
The clock was ticking and the thoughts kept running. Today it was Christmas. The reason to celebrate the bringer of light, love and laughter but instead the made up fat Coca man who brought gifts was applauded. Not the person who bought all those gifts, the one who should have all the credit but some fat old imposter who steals milk and cookies while he travels by light. Or did he use a time machine? Why? Why did people fall for that and so many other lies? Ten lies a person tells in an hour, each hour, and no lie detector detects them. Can you imagine that?
A time machine would make a great gift. Which time and place could she pick to get that better life?

The sound of a soft click. She knew what it was and meant. Not her turn yet, more waiting. Christmas wasn’t a reason to get out of bed early. Not to them. She had to wait till it was her turn. How come it always took so long? They had time to shower, get dressed. They had their tea or coffee and breakfast and all the time to play with their phones, bracelets and that chip implanted in their hand. She had seen the bumps and wondered why they felt so excited about it. They walked around like a chipped animal although, all these pets were still dumped on the street. No way a chip could be read if the dog didn’t like you, not want you near. She had watched how easily the dog catcher had shot many best friends. Human’s best friend he had called mad dogs. Those dogs hadn’t been mad. The poor animals were afraid, afraid, molested and hungry.

She turned on her back pulled the blanket over her head to protect herself against the cold and the sound of the clock. Tick tock, tick-tock. Why didn’t she leave? They say Christmas is the best time of the year. It didn’t feel like it and wouldn’t happen if she stayed in bed and obeyed. She suddenly remembered the old tale Cinderella. That girl had left and because of that act, her life became better. No God or Santa was needed.
She could do it. She could get dressed and walk out just like that 100-year-old man in the film who climbed out of the window. She smiled. For the first time in a very long time, she did. She moved her toes and fingers underneath the sheets. Her legs felt restless it was time to make a move. Today was the day. No one would pay attention to her, they hardly knew she existed. She turned on her left side again and thought about what to wear. It was important to stay warm. Did she need money or did everyone use a chip?
“There’s food in the kitchen, eat before you leave and take a filled bag on your way out,” a voice inside said.

She heard a sound in the hallway and waited. They wouldn’t open her door in the next hours. She had to get out of bed to act. The cold made her shiver as she sat on the bed’s edge wrapped in her blanket. Outside of her window was a cold, white world slowly awakening. Was it possible to climb out of the window? She put on her socks and trousers and found her way to the toilet where she sat in the dark. It didn’t bother her there was no light. Clothes, she needed more clothes. Layers of clothes to stay warm just like Heidi.
She opened the closet pulled out what she thought might fit and put it on. Without any doubt, her mom would say she looked badly dressed like a homeless but she didn’t care. Important was to wear what kept her warm and together it looked colourful. Her tiny hand searched the shelf at the back of the closet and felt something soft. What was that? She pulled it out and remembered the gift of long ago. The scarlet knitted hat and scarf she’d never worn because they were useless inside the four walls she was locked in. Did she still have a jacket?

She carefully made her bed. Pillows pushed underneath the blanket. For sure that would keep them busy if they entered her room at all.
“No chip, no bracelet, no phone. It will be hard to track and trace me. They might shoot me like a crazy dog,” she whispered on the way to the door.

Her door was open, the hallway empty and the Christmas tree looked like a dark monster instead of the bringer of hope and light.
She had a quick stop in the kitchen. So much food everywhere. She filled her pockets and bag with the goodies and pushed two bottles with lids on the top. In the corner, she stood drinking her cup of tea. Was that chocolate?
She waited for the right moment. It was silent inside as she left by the backdoor. The sun came out and felt warm on her friendly face as she walked through the lane. She had no idea where to go but today would be a perfect day.

source: pixabay.com

The shops were decorated, a large tree adorned the square. It smelled nice and she wasn’t in a hurry which was good. It was the first time since long no clock was ticking and time didn’t matter. While she sat underneath the tree she watched people passing by. Those who noticed her greeted friendly some even wished her merry days but no one asked her why she sat there all alone. How come not a single person asked if she shouldn’t be at home?
She ate from the food she took, sipped her tea and enjoyed life. At nightfall, she opened the second bottle and was surprised by the smell. Chocolate milk, not too hot but still warm. She had time to drink it all. She was alone, no one missed her and she knew she wouldn’t go back to the elderly home. Finally, Christmas became the best time of the year. She smiled as she laid her head on the empty bag. She had never been afraid to die only been afraid her life would never start. She stared at the snowflakes who fell off the sky each one of them looked like a twinkling little star.
Within an hour the snow covered it all and it would be before the new year, might be even January 6th or later, the Municipality Cleaning Service would find her smiling underneath the tree.


#kittywu #story #christmas