Annihilate

A look at the news and it turns out a lot is going on in the co-vi-d world we are living in. The world of the tiger started. The tiger fights but will he win the battle in 2022?
I can only laugh if I hear what Biden says. Biden is senile and can hardly speak. It’s hard to believe he can call the Russian Prime minister for an hour. I saw a video of the first lady taking the old man by his hand to get him off the stage. It’s as if you see a toddler follow his mom. One thing is clear this vulnerable man never received a shot or pills to take his suffering stop.

The mainstream media is still busy spreading negative and fake news. No respect for those who call themselves journalists. A journalist investigates and digs for the truth. A real journalist will listen to different stories, opinions and follow every trace to find the story behind the story.
Should we, should I be happy some journalists and celebrities finally see the light and start questioning? Again I say no respect. All those people accepted high sums for spreading lies, fear, from the first Chinese dropping dead on the street because of a virus till Russia starting a war with Ukraine. Should the UK apologize for spreading these lies? Will they? Will Biden, who doesn’t care about the bankruptcy of the USA but sends US troops to Europe and finds the time and money to fight truckers in Canada at the same time?
USA please, stay home and clean up the mess in your own country first, take care of your people, your borders.

I wonder what Biden will say if a reporter asks him if he allows it if the rest of the world send their armies to the USA to control the country or ban the land of the opportunities. What would Biden do lift his facemask and say ‘Happy Valentine’s Day to you’?

What I read today -I leave it open what’s true or made up, what to believe or ignore-

“Elections in France. Will France have a new president? If you like to understand the French people you should read Michel Houellebecq because in his books society is the main character. His latest book ‘Anéantir’ (Annihilate) is set in 2026/2027.”

What makes this writer interesting? The fact a lot of what he wrote became true. Some say he is a prophet if it comes to his novels. ‘Anéantir’ doesn’t mention co-vi-d but everything else mentioned by what the media (once) called a conspiracy theory you’ll find back if you read it. I hope to lay hands on this book (end of 2022). I’m curious if the story about the president in this book turns out to be true.

J&J, indeed the one with the one single shot to safe lives (that jab quickly abandoned, next used for the homeless and after that for young people with the promise they could immediately go “dancing with Johnson” (dansen met Jansen) which last one weekend only in the Netherlands is under fire and ‘they’ say bankrupt. Why? Because their great baby product(s) causes cancer! Are you already wondering what is in the life-saving jab?

Moderna turns out not to be doing very well either. What exactly the reason is we’ll never know for real. If it’s not a loss of faith in the company it is about rats leaving the sinking ship since there’s a lot of talks about the Nuremberg Laws (Nürnberger Gesetze 1947) and trials lately and by now we know Pfizer is (again) under fire. Next to that most judges and governments proved during the past two years they are corrupt.

I read some interesting facts about the Spanish flu (each day is good to learn something new). Any idea how long this epidemic lasted? What did you learn in history class? How bad was it? Not too bad. The papers back then didn’t even mention it for two months which means… Not even two months! Indeed you read it right. This epidemic didn’t even last for two months. It was so ‘bad’ that there were no restrictions, there was done nothing to keep the people safe. It must have been a boring age people lived in the papers mentioned it at all. It cannot have been the first time humankind was struck by the flu (or was it the result of an injection?). Isn’t it interesting how history repeats itself? Back then most people survived and humanity didn’t die. Today people die because of jabs forced upon them, because of pills they use for the death penalty, because of damage caused by ventilators, refusing to let doctors do their job and because suicide is the only way out of lockdown, restrictions and QR codes and humanitarians are hard to find. My prediction is it won’t get any better only worse. There’s no way the mass can escape for what ‘planned parenthood’ has in mind for the human, useless population.

Source: Telegram

More healthy news today that makes one think (unless you rather believe as told and keep spreading the same old story). Science and scientists are under fire which should be normal because science is about doubts not about reason. Governments, their ‘experts’ who simply ignored what others (their colleagues) think, figured out, believe, discovered are in trouble too but they can be sacked. Ministers come and go which makes it easier to remain blind and spread the story of the sponsor (Bill & Melinda Foundation, the acts of the foundation Melinda should no longer support).
The numbers of those killed by co-vi-d are overrated and those killed by injections are underrated but like an Australian minister said: no one forces you it’s up to you, your body your responsibility.

With the elections coming up the restrictions will disappear. Not because so many demonstrate for freedom or the police in Paris shoots at peaceful protestors but because of those elections and those who rule know the mass has a very short memory. Two weeks ‘freedom’ is enough to make the nation forget how bad it was and make them vote for the same dictator again, the puppet paid by the elite whose goal is to eliminate 90% of the population.

Soon no QR code is needed unless you travel but the experimental jabs continue till 2024 (and long after then).
More health news is Aids is back. Another attack on the other T-cells just like back in the 80′ guess what caused it smallpox. I wonder if these are same smallpox as were found at Fauci’s lab (didn’t he mention a new smallpox attack or was it, Bill?).

A young vlogger (?) said about two years of health dangering virus: 20% more obesity how odd is that? If you want to know what’s healthy ask your grandmother. If you want to be a rebel grow your food.

#kittywu #politics #life #column

Spartan

Spartan, that’s how dad calls something that is difficult. Sitting in the cold is Spartan, eating dirty food with mould is Spartan and so is sleeping on the floor. I don’t think Dad is a Spartan or ever met one.
Dad likes to talk about what he calls enduring hardship. It’s a difficult word. To endure hardship is part of being spartan, he says. You have to be tough or you won’t make it. Dad doesn’t look tough to me. He doesn’t want me to say what I feel. Feelings are not important to him.

“Facts, bring me facts if then I will listen to you.”

For dad, only facts count. I am not allowed to feel anything. What I feel or think isn’t important, doesn’t count. What he says to me he never says to my mother. He doesn’t dare talk to her like that. When she’s at home, he hides behind the newspaper, on the toilet or in the little room when she’s not needing it for work. Sometimes I hear another man talk to him. That man is not uncle G. dad says it’s a professor who teaches him to understand maths. I think it’s not going very well or Dad doesn’t understand what the professor tells him. I don’t understand much about maths either. Maybe we are both stupid and that’s a fact?

Dad never says I am stupid. He says I can go to university easily. When the headmaster said I’m too stupid to go to visit housekeeping school, Daddy was furious. I told him what the headmaster said because I don’t know what housekeeping school is. Dad went to school to have a talk with the man. That school no longer exists and he said I’m too good for that.  I don’t think daddy only talked because he was very angry. The headmaster didn’t say anything to me about it, but I’m not in his class anyway but I was a bit afraid of what he can do to me. The headmaster is a mean person. He hits the children too and doesn’t like me. I don’t think he likes my dad. Not yet. Daddy never goes to school except when he’s angry and at Christmas.

So eating mouldy food is spartan? I never read it in a book or heard it in history classes. I think Dad made it up. He won’t let me ask about it and never showed me a book that shows what a Spartan is. How he lives and why it’s important to be one.
Sailors must have eaten mouldy food. That used to be a long time ago when they went sailing to get herbs, coffee and tea. Far away, once they artived they must have had good food, not pudding with green and red bits in it like my mother makes on Sundays. They had special biscuit and water, alcohol and I think rats too. I don’t know if there were any cats on board. Cats that catch mice and rats and don’t eat cat food.

Dad spoke about sliding cheese and sliding cake. He says he only got a small piece of it on his slice of bread. He first ate the dry bread and the last piece of bread was with cheese or breakfastcake. He showed me how to do it. First I had to look at the part of bread with cheese on it next shove the cheese a bit further and eat the dry bread till I came to the last part of bread. My mother said nothing about it. She doesn’t care if I eat bread with something on it. I can have what I like. Cheese, meat or chocolate sprinkles. If I don’t eat bread, it’s okay too. She only gets furious if I don’t eat the cooked dinner.

I think being beaten me is spartan too. My mother likes to hit but never with her bare hand. She always uses a whip, a mat beater or the dog chain. Maybe it is spartan that I no longer cry or beg her to stop? I just close my eyes and let her. I watch from a distance. She’ll get tired. Dad hits me too but with his leather slippers but only when my mother says: don’t you see what that child is doing? If she says that he jumps on his feet and slaps me. Sometimes he puts me over his knee and counts how many times he slaps me. That must be something spartan too counting how many lashes are given I mean.

I asked grandma about the sliding cheese and sliding breakfastcake. Grandma is frugal because she was in the Japanese camp. She softens old bread over a pan of hot water. She looked at me in surprise and said: your father lies, we never did anything like that.
Grandma believes me. She doesn’t say I am a liar. I didn’t tell dad I asked his mom of it’s true what he told me.
I don’t like spartan or what my father calls spartan. I can’t stand the cold, I don’t want to eat mould and I don’t care if I never grow up being tall, a strong Spartan. Why do I have to be a Spartan? I am not and will never be.

February 6, 2022

#kittywu #diary #childhood #childabuse

Another dimension

Waking up never been easy
I wonder where I am
Even before I open my eyes
I marvel about time and day
The timepiece of the matron
– what was her name again –
Ticks on and on and on
Location next to my bed
It sounds louder and louder till it suddenly stops

Where am I?
Do I need to go or be somewhere
Is there a reason to leave my bed
Hastily at this very moment
Instead of living in oblivion?
Too many beatings on the head
Capillaries, nerves, threats
The awareness something snapped indeed
No fasten your veins instead of seatbelts

Not a clue where I am
I start thinking, imagining, gathering the thoughts
Why is it they see a grey, foggy personality
While beautiful colours pass by
My head is never empty
It has never been
Shades of green, poppy red,
Sunflower yellow
Endless cornfields where deer hide

The smell of the mattress with seagrass
Granny’s hot chocolate and cake
Panic in Spain
Third teeth stuck in a glass
The awareness I’ll never go home again
Domesticated
Strangled
Gagging over white pudding with so many red and green pieces

Bittersweet
Flashes of pain, humiliation, pity, the reality
Hurt neighbourhood, children
Enough of it!
I memorized it all, the wakeup call included
Brainwashed, falsified truth
More bread and pancakes than I liked to eat
Another extent begs to be seen
The world one meets when caught by a story

Lack of commendation
Not recognised by
Passed station already as a child
I’m still around, this is me
The memory of the blue lagoon
The black mirror, sea, Malta, Sicily
Crying and smiling with the wolves
Black cobra, Out of Africa
No godfather took my hand, protected me

The world can be such a good place
– Grandfather’s geese in the orchard –
Once we embrace, recognize true love
The ally, comrade till eternity
All this is me
Never good enough
to be accepted, respected, liked
by those who should but never could
Tied by different needs, too much emptiness

What does it take to drive one crazy
To overlook the present, all that once mattered
To set foot into another immortality
Everlastingness, depression
The psyche minding its own business instead of age
The inability to wake up, get off the floor
How to recognize dirty games setups
Knowing the theatrical scene isn’t the real thing
Freedom of the spirit hidden behind norms set by an elite and masks.

At times I lose the mind you defined as me lately
A different intellect, the ghost set free from the bottle
Sanity, rationality, psyche
Still exist in a different dimension
Overcoming, gathering the reflections
within minutes, seconds
Does it look like a loss?
I am not gone, fallen
Because I wane tea and biscuits today

https://linktr.ee/wakeupkitty

CDBC the Central Bank Digital Coin

In March 2019, the UK Institute and Faculty of Actuaries published a comprehensive report on CBDCs. It lists the countries that are either researching this or are abandoning it for the time being. I did not come across the Netherlands so quickly but this country will definitely switch to the new digital currency for everyone because it is involved in the great reset of which CO2 emission and the co-vi-d hoax are part as well. Even if the Dutchman is not, the government is ready to build back better. Not the better for the average man but that does not matter.
The report by the British institute lists, among others, the countries where the system has already been implemented. China, by the way, is not included. This report also mentions that Ecuador has stopped its CBDC. Personally, none of this means anything to me, and I cannot say whether they have ever issued a digital currency.
Up to now, I have not been much interested in the emergence of the central digital currency for the Netherlands (most likely the EU).

What exactly is CBDC except for a name?
It is a means of payment similar to paper banknotes, coins and the well-known bank card or credit card. It is a unit of account and a store of value (see, among others, Wikipedia).
Incidentally, there is no fixed definition for CBDC (yet), so it can still go either way.
For those who are used to online payments, the new system will not cause many problems. The same goes for those active in the world of cryptocurrencies. The difference between the money we know now and CBDC is that CBDC is not tangible. You cannot hold it, smell it, bathe in it or hide it under your mattress. Just like with cryptocurrencies, you have a wallet (account at the Central Bank) where your amount to be spent is stored. A wallet that likely not only the Central Bank guards. With the help of the blockchain, the government will automatically collect taxes, fines, control you and if you don’t behave…

When it comes to banks, there are two types, central and commercial. Each country has, on average, one central bank.
‘De Nederlandsche Bank’ (DNB) is the central bank of the Netherlands and is responsible for compiling the Dutch balance of payments and the Dutch International Investment Position. The EU has a central bank too. This bank is responsible for the balance of the countries affiliated with the EU. This means the governments of EU countries deal with two central banks that watch over them, whereby the national bank probably has little to say. Those who still believe that money does not make one happy are wrong. It is the central banks who are in charge because they have the money, print it and decide who’s gonna live and who has to die. They don’t care about (small) businesses or countries going bankrupt. As a watchdog of finances, they do a lousy job. Whoever has the money has the power enough power to rule the world.

CBDC stands for Central Bank Digital Currency and this is or will be the digital money that a central bank of a country will issue. Commercial banks cannot do this and will not play a major role in the future. We are already seeing this in the Netherlands. Many banks no longer have branches. The online bank has become quite normal, as has the discontinuation of issuing bank cards.
The central bank is not the bank where you and I, private individuals, can open an account but the one powerful bank of the country. As mentioned, some central banks are already developing their own digital currency (coin) while others are still ignoring this option.

ECB

The problem with commercial banks?
Most of them are too big to fail. They are the ones who perpetuate the fiscal deficit and the resulting problems that many countries have been facing for years but the economic crisis, the depreciation of money, have to be stopped. Also, the central banks that keep on printing money without anything of value (gold) will not solve the economic crisis. In the end, money that is printed is always spent and lent out, which only makes the financial problem worse. No less than 90% of the savings in the Netherlands are used by banks to ‘earn’ money. Their earning model is doomed for years. The only thing that keeps the existing most used currencies alive (especially the dollar is said to account for more than half of all transactions worldwide and central banks this is worrying) is the belief in the coin. Clearly, trust in a coin alone is not enough to avert inflation, the bankruptcy of a country and with that a completely new financial system.

I grew up with cash. I saved in a piggy bank and once a year the bank emptied it with a key. A debit card did not yet exist in those days. The amount of money from the piggy bank was entered in a booklet. Those who did not receive their salary in cash went to collect it at the bank. An employee of the bank handed it over. ATMs did not yet exist, nor did credit or debit cards. Nothing was ordered or paid online.
By now I have experienced many financial changes. This doesn’t mean I participate(d) in each one of them. I have never used the ‘chipknip’, I do not pay contactless or with NFC. Like many people, I pay a lot of fixed costs automatically because I am forced to. Taxes are not one of them, but rent, health insurance and bank charges are. It will therefore not be a big step for the average Dutchman to exchange the euro for a digital coin, the account for a wallet and to allow third parties to collect their bills automatically.
The Dutch government is increasingly steering towards this, as well as being able to check and control everyone. An app is needed for everything. Those who refuse or have an old phone can no longer participate in the most basic things. Once the elderly died those who remain will have to learn all about the new (financial) system.

Like it or not, this new financial system is going to happen. In all likelihood, it will be a digital currency because private individuals who issue such a currency are the Central Bank’s greatest fear and therefore enemy. Facebook is on its way and it is not the only one. The CBDC can be issued per country by the national central bank or the central bank of the EU (for America the FED). My estimation is that given the great reset and the setting up of a world government it will be one currency for all. Everyone except the two countries that are seen as the greatest enemies: China and Russia (in Russia they guard against money printing).

A digital central bank currency (CBDC) can ensure that people can continue to pay with central bank money even if cash disappears. This can be a great advantage, especially since the central bank will then be the guarantor. However, it is unusual for central banks to do business with private individuals. Count with the fact that in the banking sector a great reset will take place as well. If it comes to the banking sector, the redundant will not have to count on another job. Banking at home and on the go will soon be commonplace for everyone, regardless of age or education. I do not think that savings will still exist for ordinary people. The social credit system will not allow it.

The European Central Bank (ECB) investigates the possibilities of developing European digital money and so does ‘De Nederlandse Bank’ (DNB). Here, they are also looking at what the blockchain has to offer in terms of creating their own digital currency.
The majority of the Dutch population knows nothing about cryptocurrencies and isn’t interested still the banks are watching this development with suspicion because they have no control over it. From their perspective, you can’t blame them. Should the Dutch massively switch to cryptocurrencies, the central bank and the government will lose all power.

By the way, it is not a requirement that a CBDC runs on a blockchain, although it is the way to exercise total control over the account holders.

https://linktr.ee/wakeupkitty

What’s in a name?

Nothing? Everything?
It depends on who you speak, what you believe but one thing’s for sure names do not all sound the same. Not to the ears of humans and not to the ears of animals. It’s the same for foreign languages. If we are not used to the accent what sounds romantic or sweet to some can be harsh to others. Personal ideas, feelings based on life experiences or (dis)likes influence how we feel or think about a name too.

If you have time listen to what is said here. It’s meant to be funny by the way. Try to hear what is said about certain letters. It makes sense certain letter combinations sound louder than others. It takes more power to speak (in the example given spit) them out.


Do not take what you just heard seriously. You can still say ‘teacher’ instead of ‘neacher’. Louder sounds of letters or letter combinations do not spread viruses faster but some of us may spit more. If it comes to that: a disease caused by a virus will not be spread by people without symptoms. Being tested with a PCR test with a positive result proves nothing. If you do not feel sick you are not and no threat to others.
Louder pronounced letter combinations also sound more like guttural gurgles and more unfriendly, especially if we are not used to them. A name with hard or deep guttural sounds does not sound friendly. Such a name may be good for a dog like a Doberman or Rottweiler but is not necessarily suitable for the average man let alone a small child.

A name is not always chosen carefully or with love. Being named after grandpa or grandma is not always appreciated. I know all about that. Having a boy’s name when you are a girl or a name that is suitable for each gender feels so wrong to me. I have bad experiences with that too and after all these years, my ugly names still annoy me and make me feel unhappy. I should have changed my name when I could still afford it. Nowadays, apart from asking the king’s permission – as if the man cares – you need to pay about 1000 euros and wait for months if it’s possible at all.
I find it unpleasant to be constantly compared with someone else and a name that doesn’t sound good and doesn’t feel like mine. I am named after my grandmother but the church always asks if I am my grandfather. My grandfather a man who died nearly 60 years ago.

For me, there is a lot in a name. A name should be unique and fit the person or one should at least have a positive ring to it.
If you believe there’s something into a name and care about the meaning of a name you can investigate what is written about your name(s). There are many books published about names and their meanings, and the internet has plenty of information too. You can even find overviews of how often a name is given each year in a country.

Naming a child after a celebrity is more common nowadays than naming it after the grandparents. Those who name their children after someone have a certain thought in mind about the person in question and likely hopes their child will resemble or be associated with this person. After all, everyone likes to share in the success and positive thoughts about a celebrity and nobody wants to be compared to a dictator, the brand of a toaster or the municipal waste collection service.

If it comes to animals: When your pet hunts you down in the house, attacks and bites you and you have named him Hunter, it is time for a change of name. In this case, the name Hunter was changed to Hunk. It took time and energy to re-educate this animal but it was worth it. Hunter went from being aggressive to one of the most affectionate and sweetest animals I ever met. Who calls her pet Bitch should not expect too much from it. The word, toning does not sound nice and it will certainly not be pronounced like that. Bitch sounds bitter, short-tempered and in this case, the animal behaved that way. You could say there was something in that name. This pet needed one too, a sweet name to have a fair chance to be liked.

Will we ever get used to foreign names? Names we would never give our children or which we associate with a dictator, terrorist or someone we look down on or would rather not be reminded of? For longer the name Adolf wasn’t popular although children were named Dolf (Adolf without the A) which still sounds strange to me.

I don’t know what exactly happened but my grandmother was disappointed in her brother. This wasn’t for a small reason since she tolerated more than most people. As a result, she felt bitter about naming her son after him. Perhaps the son started to look too much like his uncle?
I do believe unconsciously, the one who is named after someone starts comparing himself with that person. You need to be aware of your name, be alert not to fall for it. It’s easy to copy certain behaviour once growing older. After all, it is human nature to profit from the good name and fame of others. If the celebrity you are named after is in the spotlight, you as the namesake feel automatically more seen and heard.

How did being the namesake of my grandmother work out for me? You would think that with more than one name, l have a choice, but that was not the case. None of my names is beautiful, and I’ve never felt comfortable being called by my grandmother’s names. My names never felt as if they belonged to me.
I already had the feeling that all the bad things were coming for me.
My grandmother only just survived the concentration camp and suffered pain for the rest of her life. To me, it felt as if the curse that rested on her – the heavy, humiliating, deathly ill life – was passed on to me together with her names even though she was strong, a fighter, did not let herself be silenced. Despite all the setbacks, didn’t she allow herself to be belittled. No matter how bad things were, she tried to get the best out of her life, even if it was far from easy. Would she have preferred a different name? I never asked. It may be that she eventually grew into her names or that she simply did not care because those who knew called her mum, Mrs. or granny.

https://linktr.ee/wakeupkitty

#kittywu #psychology #life #names

All you need to be is a swine

Time flew by.
There was no reason why the three boars should look back.
Going home?
Their normal life was gone, taken from them.
It was done without regret or delay.
If the news spread was true all pigs just like ma Swine were dead.
After a not too long sickness, she ended up in bed.
Finally, Senior thought, the best of all was she had died alone.

There was no reason to cry or grieve.
All he felt was a relief.
It had been her life her choice.
She had kicked them out back then,
without any remorse.
They’d agreed never to set a paw inside her miserable hut again.

Senior, the eldest of the three was satisfied felt happy.
He loved the freedom, his booze, to celebrate
from early in the morning till late.
He didn’t care about the swine flu or cessation.

“I’m immune ’cause I drink, alcohol is pure
It can only infect you,” he notified the other two, “you should take some shots too, it’s the best cure
against your worries, emotions, common sense you’ll see.
All that unnecessary thinking, trust me it even fights anxiety.”

Together they celebrated the weather and above all the joy of their muddy pool.

“It’s good to live free, I love the country.”
Fatso agreed although, he still missed the luxury of well-prepared food.
The wolf’s new spouse never baked bread or cake,
both loathed rolling through mud and avoided the lake.
What made them always go out at night howling at the moon
without fearing an experimenter showing up as soon
as they started because they coerced the neighbourhood?
He liked them but their behaviour didn’t feel good.
Should he report them to the government?

“It’s only reasonable they stick to the law
like we all. What if they infect you with that crying-out-vibrant disease,” said the sow. “Know we build back better. Isolated black wolves and black sheep isn’t the end.”

Could this new brother skim his brain, was he too naive, too kind?
He better start practising a blank mind.
Sharing the same dirty hole with these swine woke him up.
No way he could stay
close, enjoying the dirt with these pigs.
In his head, he played the song “You say I ain’t good enough for you, ’cause I don’t behave the way you want me to. I should change my norms, values and attitude, obey otherwise I’m a bad dog. I’m no good, no good, no good…”

The sow unexpectedly hummed along with the hymn playing in his mate’s head and said: “You have the right spirit, brother I knew it. No need to stay, safety is only a call away. Take your responsibility if not for you then for us, since we are your true family.

“Take some firewater to keep the spirits brother,” Senior said with a smile. “A few shots won’t harm you. Do what I do and don’t forget to vote for me your Admiral, after all, we’re in this together. Black wolves’ lives don’t matter. All you need is being a swine and we swines should stick together.”

Source: pixabay.com

A follow up of the tale The three pigs written a while ago first published here

https://linktr.ee/wakeupkitty

#wakeupkitty #tale #threepigs #poem

A Google-free life

My very old phone gave up on me today at least it looks like it. It starts up with a rattling sound and next it shuts down. Later I’ll ask my child for the tiny screwdriver to open (operate) it. What is broken can only be fixed. It’s worth the try. In the meanwhile, I looked for another phone. It can be a simple one just to make calls (a battery that lasts a week is rare these days and I’m getting tired of buying adapters and cables. The cables don’t last long.).
While searching the internet I read about 15% of the phones function without Google. To some it’s the end of the world to others like me it’s not although, I live in the modern world. A world where they force me into using banking apps, government apps, digital signing in apps and apps for health insurance and so on. All those apps can only be downloaded via the play store. This means Google knows all about it which sucks.

While reading on I read Google at least reads each account about 35 times an hour (if not hundred times, once a day is already a lot). Google reads your phone, knows who you are calling, texting, what you search for and even who you write and your notes! Really? Since if that’s true google shares my articles and publishes my books and will say I’m a plagiarist which doesn’t feel so good. Now you might say Google is just a huge computer collecting, calculating, selling private information but behind each machine is a person and I’m not the one who believes there aren’t individuals who have benefited from it.

So today it’s the second day in a row I keep myself busy with my e-mail address, Google account and opt-out of what I didn’t already. To be honest it sounds weird to me Google even checks my physical movements. What exactly is the idea behind that? If I move too much I’m not at home and spread a virus or am up to something bad? And what If I don’t move at all? Will consider Google me being unhealthy or dead?
To be honest, after reading all this info – true or made up – I’m glad I always suffered from a slow internet connection plus I do not pay with a credit card. So no Google Chrome for me, no buying whatever the play store has for sale. I’m not interested.

Besides the banking apps, what will I miss most in a Google-free life? Will I be limited?

I can email and use proto mail, onmail are many of the other free emails. I can surf the internet by using duckduckgo and some say the Samsung browser is a safe and good option too (this browser can be downloaded by every android user). If Samsung with its own apps and app store is safer than Google I don’t know but it’s an option. They say Microsoft is too by the way.

I gave up on the app MedGemak. It’s the government’s idea of a medical file plus extras. It should be handy to make an appointment with your doctor or figuring out your test results plus you can leave your doctor a message. It’s not a plus since the record I saw wasn’t mine which means the doctor – she never met me – messed up or made it up.

If it comes to apps there are many ways to lay your hands on them if you cannot use a site via the browser. Next to Samsung’s app store, there are other ways. You can visit the original site (Telegram’s it for example) and download the apk file directly from it. There’s F-droid, Aptoide, APKmirror, APKpure, Amazon (not sure if that’s smart and they don’t check you out) and so on. These are all sites where you find the apps you can’t live without including some extra gadgets and games. If you like you can even download Google apps – indeed without Google knowing you did – which is an option to some whose phone came without the 101 Google apps and to those who don’t want to lay hands on it without starting an Google account. I’m not going to advise this. It’s your decision what you install on your device and how you use your phone.

Since Huawei no longer is allowed to use Google’s apps it might be a great help and a good substitute. I say might because it depends on where you live. A phone made in China traces and checks you out too and all these data end up? I read that Xiaomi had to leave these “features” out to be allowed to sell in Europe but did they? Since Europe is not different from China these days I can imagine nothing has changed or the EU added their own spying chip in it to check out who’s a productive slave and who’s the terrorist.
Have you noticed batteries can no longer be removed? The reason for this is not only to force you to buy the latest model as soon as possible.

What I use my phone for on a daily basis:
– writing, so I need a notebook, my phone came with one.
– reading texts, pdf and text can be read by the notebook
– SMS/texting, the phone provides in it.
– using the internet, search options, I use duckduckgo
– making a phone call a few times a year, nothing special is needed.
– reading email, works fine without google’s email, via browser is an option too
– Telegram, downloaded the apk via their official site
– Signal to stay in touch in case of need, possible to install the apk

I deleted Google translate and never used Google maps. Nearly each Google app I deleted and what cannot be deleted is changed back into the ‘factory’s installation’, the state the phone is sold.  I gave up on boring Facebook and Twitter longer ago and last year on WhatsApp and I don’t miss these social media. Those I know and don’t have or want to use Signal can send me an e-mail. Google’s sneaky Covid-19 notification I switched off from day number one. I don’t consider it a helpful tool. It will only divide people more and it says nothing about someone’s health. I’m not interested in who has (had) what.

By the way: Without Google’s apps running in the background my phone (not the latest or most expensive one) became way faster which is another plus.

Good phone, bad phone, old or new with or without Google apps Big brother watches each one of us no matter where we live. The only way to opt out of the system is to live the life of a hermit and ‘leave’ your country or be homeless which I know some people around me do to opt-out of the system.
Besides of Samsung with its own apps and Huawei there are phones for sale without hardly any apps like some Motorola and Nokia and even Android phones without Google apps and /e/ OS/ * but they are very expensive. Threehundred+ up to over eight hundred euros for a phone – some a refurbished – I consider as too much. So what I don’t need I delete and I’ll see how far I get. If it doesn’t work for some reason and I can’t find another way to get what I need I can always install google again but not today.

https://linktr.ee/wakeupkitty


#kittywu #google #bigbrother #life #smartphone

Would you’ve turned around?

Once you step into a jab centre you made up your mind. You will take that jab for a reason. Your motive. You might want to go out, visit a pub or restaurant, want to travel or go to a festival. You do not take that injection because you deeply care about all those unknown elderly people or the vulnerable. If you take that jab you do it for yourself. That shot gives you hope. The hope to go to the cinema, the hope to enter a shop or in some cases to keep your job. You go for it because you do not dare to say: I pass. Sorry, I’m not a genuine pig I won’t participate in this experiment I care about my health.

If it’s your turn you don’t dare to ask if there are side effects or if it will kill you. The idea might pop up but you ignore these thoughts. If you wait 15 minutes and nothing happens you’ll be alright. Besides all those others took it so why not you? Why should it harm you, after all, you are a good person.

There’s no need to think it over. Why should you think about insurances that might not pay out if there would be a side effect worse than a painful spot? Why should you be one of those few with bad luck? Why should anyone get paralyzed or no longer be able to work or practice sport?
You don’t reread the contracts between you and the insurance companies stating you are not allowed to take part in an experiment. Why should you if the government guarantees if something goes wrong you can knock on their door and they will solve all your health and financial issues?

There’s no need to ask yourself why Moderna, J&J, AstraZeneca or all the others who swear their vaccine is safe and makes you immune refuse to pay if any harm is done. Your head already spins of all those different opinions and stories made up.
Why should you break your brains about the fact politicians, ministers, kings, queens, VIPs, doctors, virologists and all those consultants are not taking the shot?
There’s no reason to doubt about the fact only 3 “scientists” are allowed to spread the news.

Why bother about unvaxxed children abandoned from school? Children who have to follow lessons outside while it’s winter. Children who have to undress in the freezing cold before they can enter the swimming pool. Why should you care? The only one to blame is the parent who refuses to let his child be jabbed for the sake of…

That’s sake is the question. A question no one can answer. Children will not die of any variant of the coronavirus. Not one single child did during the past two years. By now we know the injections do not protect against spreading any virus. Those who are injected and take booster after booster still live in fear.
If these shots don’t stop spreading a virus, do not make you immune, the side effects harm and kill more people than co-vi-d did why should you take it? To go out and spread the virus? To visit the elderly and put them in danger? To travel abroad and end up in quarantine? To give a good example to your children? If this is the case I wonder what all those children will say about their parents. Perhaps not now but in five, ten, fifteen or twenty-five years. Will they be proud of their folks and say: You did a great thing and saved us, the world?

Will disabled people still exist or will healthy people be a rarity?
No matter what the scenario will be healthcare in the nearest future will no longer be available for the minority. Sick, disabled people are a burden to each society and not only for parents or children who have to deal with it. In the future, there won’t be money for healthcare. It’s even questionable if there are good, trustworthy doctors, nurses, caretakers left. People who won’t kill you with one injection or pill because you are no longer needed.

Would it have made any difference if the one who gave you that jab had informed you about all the health dangerous risks you take? The site howbad.info didn’t exist yet as this experiment started but if you couldn’t have consulted it before you received that jab and without your lot number.

Imagine if those who gave the injections would have informed everyone. Would they have asked what a seizure or paralysed person looks like? Would they have stepped out of that line, turned around and gone back home? Would you if they told you you would be infertile or dead in 2023? Would you’ve changed your mind if they informed you objectively and told you you have over 85% to get harmed and your natural immune system will never function again? I don’t think so.

Indeed all those who didn’t inform each client they injected about the risks of joining medical experiments committed a crime. It is against the law and if done on purpose (in this case it is) it’s a crime. This indeed means every vaccination centre is a crime scene. Crime scenes should be investigated. Being vaccinated with an experimental injection is no law. It is what they did in concentration camps during the second world war. It is against the Nürnberg code! Since no government changed the law this means you lined up out of your own free will.
I believe if you would have been informed you still would have taken that injection because you trust a company like AstraZeneca who has been sued more than once and your fear lead you.  You would have ignored what the doctor said. How do I know? Because many great doctors, specialists, virologists and scientists said so. They informed and warned about what could happen. They were laughed at, scolded at and reported by their patients, removed on social media and called conspiracy terrorists by colleagues, the media and you.

The bitter truth is these “conspiracy terrorists” turn out to be right. After (more than) two years of predicting what would happen, telling us how we would be fooled, fall for the lies, how easily we would let ourselves be divided readily to fight and blame the opposite, we still think the next shot will save our life. We still believe we go back to normal while our impatience increases. In the meanwhile, we fear those we harmed, those we blamed for our (bad) choices and misery, our lack of courage. The anxiety for what the new normal will bring eats us but most of all we worry about the consequences of our deeds.

I believe 2022 will be the year of truth. Perhaps not the year of justice and tribunals about crimes committed against humanity but the truth will be known.
No way we go back to normal but hopefully, we build a new normal together. A normal build on trust with love, energy and hope for the future. A chance for our children, the next generation without the shame we brought over them by our behaviour, lack of courage.
The only way to do so is by staying strong, united and taking responsibility for our own deeds instead of making excuses of why we did what when and for which reason. The only thing that counts is we show and spread love and do our best from now on.

https://linktr.ee/wakeupkitty

#kittywu #covid #newnormal #future #life #conspiracy #humanity #jab #injection

What a small world

“We have to forget what we are taught.”
It made me think as I heard this and I agree. Just like many people I’m raised by the government, raised by a society that stood for something. A government that was paid to fulfil a certain task. That task is not about protecting the people, those people who pay them but keeping them under their thumb. Who still believes money doesn’t make happy is a fool. All you need is money not love to succeed.

Many songs are written about money. Not about capitalism but those few who have more money to spend than the average rich guy. These persons you find everywhere. A democracy either the country of opportunities or the people’s republic of China are an exception. Wealthy people always existed and they will always state they are the better race, the purebloods, philanthropic, those noble ones who know what’s best for you (and with you, the mass is meant. All those who are poor, those who just consume, the elderly, the vulnerable, the weak, sick, those who aren’t white, a member of those noble families.)

How will that work out for most of us?
The smart ones will build a life, new communities far away from what those not so noble of heart people want. People I have doubts about they are so healthy. Have a closer look at who rules. Mainly white old men. Men who travel in private jets, people who don’t care about restrictions and facemasks. Ugly old men who don’t care who kills whom as long as the job is done.

I wonder how many emigrants are safe. Might be they are at the moment because no one dares to jab them but if you know who those few “noble philanthropists” are you know enough. They come from a long line of Eugenics who renamed ‘The negro project’ into ‘Planned parenthood’

Population Council (dr CJ Gamble) is another project Bill Gates donates to. If you believe counting the world’s population is the only job you are wrong. There are letters written by Margaret Sanger about how to fool the people and get rid of them, the black people not the white. After you watched this you truly believe you, as an immigrant will be safe, black lives matter? You truly believe no jab at this very moment will keep you and your children safe for the future? They fight the poor, black and undesirables. You can change a name, pretend you are a good guy but this is a father like son case. The fox won’t change no matter how old it is.

Is doctor Clarence James Gamble ever sued for what he did to the people, the genocide or was he free to go like so many during the past hundreds of years? They made us believe all criminals are punished, all those who committed genocide ended up in The Hague but this is a lie.
The KKK, the Eugenics aka Gates, Rockefeller and the rest of the noble dynasty is still alive. Not one of them is a philanthropic

A lady tells how she was in hospital and was sterilised after she gave birth. You think this lies, you believe there are other reasons? I can tell you it’s exactly what the doctor tried to do with me. Although I gave birth in a natural the urgent advice was to let myself be sterilised. I refused. Back then I already didn’t trust a doctor on his word.

So no, if you are an emigrant, out of Africa you are not safe. The Western world isn’t the promised paradise although it might look like it from a far distance. You will be registered, you will be jabbed and you will be killed. No one needs you because you don’t add anything to society, a society that wastes money, money without any value. A society that is hiding to the next financial crisis. Just like me, you will have to find a way to survive cold winters without gas to heat your house, without water and electricity.

In the last 8 years, the definition of black has changed. You no longer need to be black to be called black even those with rather white skin are called black today except me because I’m born in the wrong country.

In 2030 Gate’s and his mates’ wet dream will comes true. At least for a part of the world. They will copy China in many ways. Can be there’s a delay but we all saw how fast our lives changed during the past two years. Facemasks are normal and not to hide your acné or less fortunate face or because you are disabled. Poverty will increase and next to killer jabs, no food and medical help will do the rest. Dying will be the new normal, 90% of the population needs to be killed as soon as possible. What makes you think you belong to that 10%?

If you like to know why they want you to die you can search for your own reason. It has nothing to do with a lack of nature, pollution or an economical crisis. If these reasons make you feel better keep them in mind if you die, tell yourself: I did something good for nature.

We are with many and what surprises me is how easily we are trapped in the web of lies. Lies spread by only a handful of people who likely are surprised how easily that went. The time was well chosen and right. We can’t even say we didn’t know since all that is said and done can be found in libraries, in history and on the internet. I guess if you give your safety out of hands, count on others to save you this is the reward you get. Death to all and in the worst-case infertile. Not because of China, not because we directly asked for it but because we did give control over our lives to people we shouldn’t and don’t trust on their word, people we do not investigate any further.

95% of the Dutch people do not trust the unchosen government.

Only if we forget about what we are taught we can start with a blank sheet and see our present situation for what it is. The naked truth which is the reality. Not negative or positive but what we want it to be. It’s possible to build a better community or your own paradise. There are ways to start somewhere else all over again or just stay where you are and see the western world come to an end because they will not give you a warm embrace. The world changes fast, norms, values, attitudes do. If you add nothing most of us don’t – the new world order will get rid of you.

https://linktr.ee/wakeupkitty
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#kittywu #life #lessons #norms #values #newnormal #eugenics #history #killing #jab

Why?

Forgotten, dead and buried.

Out of bed at 6 am and cleaning my room. Why do I have to push the bed in the middle of the room and lift all small furniture on it every day so it’s easier for her vacuuming? Just like me, the vacuum cleaners in our house never has a day off. It’s 6 o’clock and I’m already super tired. I didn’t sleep much and don’t think it will get any better. My mother kept screaming and I tried not to hear her. It’s hard. The walls are not keeping her voice out. I can hear children playing outside, my mother’s car if she arrives in the street, the neighbour playing drums and Bart making music. He lives next to our neighbours. If I can hear all these sounds people can hear her too.
Breakfast with my parents at seven, breakfast in silence a choking silence. I’m never allowed to speak so that isn’t new but usually my parents do. I should say my mother is. She’s the one who talks, talks, talks, repeats herself and repeats herself and repeats herself and tells you to repeat what she said which I can’t. So I keep my mouth shut which makes her furious. If I try to repeat what she said I can’t remember the exactly right words. The thing is she always says the same so after the first words I shut down. I close my ears and try not to hear her. I eat my bread and focus on my plate, on eating. I don’t want to hear her voice. She rattles on and on and on it’s always the same. How great she is, how ungrateful others are, blah blah blah.

Why don’t I have a normal mother? A mum like Ellen, Louis or Françoise has? A mother with a normal voice who lets you play with other children instead of punishing you for everything she can think of? I watch dad slicing cheese for his bread. If he doesn’t answer she will attack him. He never needs to repeat what she says. I wonder how auntie is doing. She no longer visits us. Will she go to grandmother if it’s Christmas?
I don’t want to hear her voice but it fills the kitchen. If I close my eyes I hear that voice everywhere around me.

Why did dad marry her? Did she ever say a sweet thing or was it her dad’s money? Grandpa is dead. There won’t be money for him. He’s no family but the man my grandparents never wanted for their daughter. Dad doesn’t look very happy. Perhaps he will sing if he cleans the bathroom and kitchen?
Her hand smacks me in the face. My head slams against the wall. “Are you sleeping again? Stand up, you lazy kid. No one is as lazy as you. Why don’t you comb your hair!” All I can do is stare at her. I have nothing to say. Whatever I would say isn’t good enough to make her forget her anger, make her like me. I try not to touch my face or head while I look her straight into the eyes. She looks at me, observes me, waits till I say something. She turns around abruptly and slams the door behind her.
“Get up you’ll be fine,” dad says. He didn’t help me. He gave up risking his neck for me. “Let’s clean up the place before your mother is back.” He starts cleaning up the breakfast table and I go back upstairs. The rooms, stairs and hallways, toilet and living room are my task. No polishing shoes today. I don’t know who will vacuum since she isn’t there. If she comes back at the end of the day she’ll be mad because the house is a mess. That’s how she calls it a mess.

I don’t feel like cleaning. Everything is clean. I pile up the small furniture on the beds in each room. I clean doors and doorknobs and wipe the dust not a single person can see. In each room, I wait till the time is over. The time it takes to clean a room to her standards. I don’t hear her, I don’t hear her car. It’s silent till dad comes upstairs and starts singing while he cleans the bathroom. I clean the toilet. Tile after tile. Another door on which I’m not going to spend 33 times scrubbing on.

How many times did I step outside to knock the dust out of the duster?

The living room is the only place where furniture can remain at its place on Saturdays. It’s clean like always. The Christmas tree is still outside. Will she be back to decorate it? I sit on the floor and wait. My head hurts. I touch the spot. Blood. She’ll be mad if there’s blood on the furniture or carpet but I have to lay down.
Dad comes downstairs and I hear him enter the kitchen. Later I’ll tell him I finished my tasks. I like to listen to the sound of the clock. Dad sings again.

Dad told me to help him to set up the tree in the living and he put the lights on. The smell of the tree fills the air. Shocked I was as I looked at the floor. A trace of needles everywhere from the living through the hallway and kitchen. “We’ll vacuum it before your mother is back, after that we get the boxes with decoration,” dad said. It felt as if he had everything under control and no longer cared about what she would say or do.
“No hiking today?”
“No, it’s vacation. Dad… I don’t want to go hiking ever again.”
“I know.”

The day didn’t end too bad. The bakery delivered boxes with bread, cookies, cakes, a Christmas loaf and chocolates. My mother came home with bags with stuff she bought and decorated the tree. It took her hours because it has to be perfect. She made a mess again and vacuumed the living three more times. She didn’t say sorry or look at me. I stood there and watched her. Unsure if I was allowed to leave or had to wait for a new order. She let me put some ‘angel’s hair’ on the ranks. It looks nice but it hurts if you touch it. The tree looks beautiful all silver with white of the ‘hair’ and the yellow big candle lights. My mother knows how she has to decorate a tree, furniture a house and how to spend too much money.

Saturday
December 18, 2021


I visited Sunday school and my parents went to church. If I don’t comb my hair straight you can’t see the blood on my head. It’s cold so I wear a hat outside. The teacher didn’t notice it.

Sunday
December 19, 2021


No school, no housekeeper just me and my mother cleaning. To my mother, it’s an ordinary Monday. She works 24/7 and if she doesn’t work we clean. In the morning we start cleaning till she has to go. She leaves if someone calls her or if she visits people at their homes. She visits in the afternoon. A few evenings a week people visit us. Dad says he has things to do. He left.

I don’t like staying home during vacations. Vacations at home are good for more cleaning, scolding, whipping and pain. That’s all it’s good for.

In the evening I’m allowed to sit in the living and watch the tree. The living is for weekends only. I spend the most time in my room or the kitchen if I’m not at school and have to clean the house.

Monday
December 20, 2021



The living is in the Christmas mood my mother isn’t. Her mood goes up and down. I’ll never know what she will say or do next. I don’t trust her and am glad I don’t need to share a bed with her like dad. If she kills him who takes care of me?

Tuesday
December 21, 2021


On television is more Christmas spirit than at home. I’m afraid of my mother. She acts weird. Dad says nothing and stays in the little room upstairs. She keeps walking up and down while saying the same words over and over again. Can’t she just sit down for a moment and act like a normal person?
I try to watch telly but it’s hard with her around. She can snap any minute. We didn’t have tea yet. I leave and hide on the toilet and try to think about what to do. I can put the kettle on and make us some tea. I go ask dad if he likes some tea.
Back downstairs I fill the kettle with water and put it on the cooker and wait. I wait at the kitchen table and try not to touch more things than necessary. My mother always knows if something is touched, moved. It’s good enough for the next scene. Why is she walking up and down? Is she crazy?
I fill the teapot and a dad’s mug. I’ll give him first before I ask her. Back in the hallway I no longer hear her voice behind the door in the living. Should I enter or drink my tea first? I knock on the door and carefully open it. She stands in front of the tree.
“Mother do you want some tea?”
She turns around stares at me as if I’m a stranger.
“Yes,” she says and follows me to the kitchen.
“Take some cookies.” We sit at the table and she pushes the wooden cookie box over the tablecloth towards me. The madness disappeared.

Wednesday
December 22, 2021

Today felt like a better day. I read the book school gave me again and my mother was in a chocolate mood. She ate a lot of chocolate and butter cookies. Not if it’s coffee time or tea time but just so. I don’t like the butter cookies and chocolate she buys. It’s made by the baker. Grandmother’s chocolate is better. She buys small bars of chocolate with hazelnut or Koetjes bars (the wrap is blue-white with a cow on it). Always five wrapped together. I don’t think she eats them. It’s for the visitors, sometimes she gives me one. It’s the only sweet my grandmother has in the cupboard. My mother’s cupboards are filled and one huge drawer of the antique cabinet is for cookies, cakes, chocolate, pastries only. Perhaps her mother never gave her candy?

Thursday
December 23, 2021


At 5:30 I’m out of bed. The laundry will be collected and the clean laundry taken back. We have enough sheets for at least twelve beds.
My mother started the day in a good mood but halfway through the day, it changed after grandmother called. Tomorrow we will visit grandmother and the next day granny. Each year with Christmas it’s the same routine. Granny cooks too but we never had Christmas dinner with her.

At midnight we visited the church. It was crowded and I couldn’t sit anywhere. I don’t like to be in a cold church in the middle of the night and listen to a story I already know. A story about the hope for peace, love and light. Peace, love and light? Try to live with my mother for a week or better month and all the hope and dreams you had are gone. If you are lucky you get out sane. Jesus is lucky his mother isn’t like mine or perhaps he’s not. With a mother like mine you wish you were dead. If no one believes you, everyone is blind for what she does there’s no reason to stay alive. What is a lifelong scolding and beating worth? Even in church, I hear her voice. That voice is always in my head. It’s hard not to change into that man Norman Bates. He knows how it is if you can’t escape out of your mother’s claws. Jesus didn’t rescue either did god. It is as it is. If there’s a plan for everything it means God doesn’t care and he won’t come to your rescue. He wants you to suffer. I don’t believe that old man preaching. He says what they all say but never talks about real life, real suffer and pain.

Happy to be home back in bed even my bed is cold.

Friday
December 24, 2021


Not much sleep. Out of bed at 6 am.
Merry Christmas… I’ve watched a film on television. Grandmother doesn’t have a tree. Auntie and my new uncle came for having Christmas dinner with us. Soup, goose, dessert and coffee with apple pie. I like grandmother’s dining table and chairs. The legs are claws of an animal. We didn’t sleepover. My mother was angry and granny was too. Dad drove us back home. Tomorrow I will see granny. A long drive in the car again. The light of the star of Bethlehem in front of our window was on. Welcome home.

Saturday
December 25, 2022


It was good to see granny is still alive. My uncle was home and another uncle came with his wife and children. I don’t really know them just my uncle. I like him most of all uncles I have.
We ate nothing special but it doesn’t matter. I can’t eat much anyway. Again soup, rice and beans and meat and chocolate custard. We had coffee and cake and I helped granny do the dishes. I like her gas heater and watched it burn. No one talks to me. Uncle didn’t stay long. My other uncle can be a bully and hates my mother and the adults talk to or fight with each other. It doesn’t matter if it’s Christmas or not. There’s no love, no hope, no light wherever we go.

Sunday
December 26, 2021

Days pass by. The tree is the only light in the darkness even if it loses its needles. My mother waters it daily. I think it’s too warm inside and it starves. What is cut dies. It will be hard to get it out of here.
Mother gave me chocolate wreaths at tea time. She sang. I hope she isn’t up to something bad again. Dad visited uncle G. He never takes me over there. I’m not sure if my mother was there. I think she likes him somehow. She doesn’t like people and never forbids me to take his candies.

I had to come along with her as she visited the people. I felt bored and it’s cold in the car if she doesn’t drive. The car makes me sick and it takes long before she comes back if she visits someone. Why do I have to sit and wait in the car? Why?

Wednesday
December 29, 2021

Tomorrow we visit grandmother again. She’ll bake oliebollen and apple beignets. I like the apple beignets most of all.

I didn’t need to clean that much and was allowed to go outside. It’s not so cold. No snow. It doesn’t feel like Winter. I didn’t know what to do or where to go to. I watched some children play and met Ellen. We searched for coins on the paths behind the row of houses where she lives and followed the path to where I live. Some mothers were outside frying oliebollen just like last year. It makes it smell nice outside.

Thursday
December 30, 2021



Laundry day. The last day of the year. No illusions it will get any better. My mother won’t change into a beautiful fairy if the clock strikes twelve. She will be ugly on the inside forever sneaky, mean, violent.
At 10 o’clock she received a phone call. She sounded agitated finished her coffee with cake and went to her room. She had to do her hair and makeup first which takes hours. She called for me and my task was to check her hair. She doesn’t need me she has 4 mirrors plus doesn’t believe what I say anyway. It took and took and those people called again which made her angry with me. Finally, she left. I felt relieved, cleaned up everything and took another cup of tea. I put the dishwasher on. It’s not difficult and I know we won’t leave if she finds tasks to be done. Dad left. I hope he is back home before her. I’m not sure what to do. I checked every room if it’s clean. My mother hates dust and dirt and every single item needs to be right at its spot. Should I vacuum the stairs an extra time? I walked the steps she can see it on the carpet.
I vacuum underneath the tree and sit on the floor with a dustcloth in my hand. It’s better not to touch anything. She doesn’t only see footsteps but fingerprints everywhere too. I hug the dogs but can’t feed them. If they come with us in the car they feel sick too. If they eat they vomit and make my mother furious too.

She arrived late. Dad bought us something to eat. She didn’t say anything, didn’t complain about what the house looked like. Dad drove us to grandmother. I think grandmother was angry. She said she waited for us the whole day.
“Shut up woman,” my mother answered angrily, “you know I have to work.”

If I would only think these words she would wash my mouth with soap and best me to death.

“You could have called.” Grandmother looks at dad but he doesn’t answer.

I went upstairs to the room in the attic. Three long stairs. For New Year’s Eve, we always dress up. Black suit for men and women and girls wear a long dress or skirt. I don’t know why because no one takes a picture and we don’t go outside to wish the neighbours a happy new year. It’s the first thing we do the next morning.
So long dress it is just to drink hot chocolate, eat oliebollen and wait till it’s midnight. No one plays with me, talks to me or cares if I’m joining them in the front living room. They watch a show about the past year. I don’t know if I should laugh or cry. I have no clue what is talked about on the telly. Grandmother put bowls with oliebollen and apple beignet on the dining table in the back living room. No one cares how many I’ll eat. They are there to be eaten and if the bowls are empty there are more, way more in grandpa’s office.

Champagne, happy New Year wishes, fake kisses. Firework outside and on television. I don’t like champagne or coffee. All I drink is tea and on rare occasions hot chocolate or hot milk if I am staying with grandmother.

In my bedroom, I watch the firework up in the sky through the small window. I can see the colours while I’m in bed. Tomorrow everything will be back to normal. My normal which isn’t something to be happy with. The Christmas spirit is already dead and buried. I don’t have anything else to achieve other than staying alive till I find a way to get out of here.

Friday
December 31, 2021

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#kittywu #diary #childhood #childabuse

What if there’s no electricity?

The luxury of electricity is normal to many of us. If it all works fine it’s hard to imagine what life looks like without once used to devices with a plug.
The fridge, washing machine, smartphone, computer, television set, radio, oven and so much more can no longer function without a socket. Today I miss the good old batteries. It feels as if there’s aways something to charge. Being not able to to cook, making a necessary phone call or heating the house can stress one out. It can be good to live a day or two without electricity and see what is needed to be prepared and continue life without stress.

Frequently I have a day without energy. Better not ask how many times the company was called to have a look at what caused it. It’s never a fallen tree. Most likely we are with too many and there’s not enough electricity for all of us. I try to save electricity and try to avoid using two electrical appliances that consume a lot of kilowatt at the same time. If the boiler is on (once a week) I do not use the washing machine or an electric heater. This doesn’t mean others don’t but this way I at least avoid short circuits at home.

They say 30 electric items should be enough. It sounds like a lot but the average family has way more. A phone for each member, a computer, tv, DVD player, radios, kitchen aid, power banks, vacuum cleaner, washing machine, dryer, ventilators, electric kettle, fridge, toys, toaster, electric blanket, lawnmower, heaters, hairdryers and today e-bikes and even electric cars. All that electricity needed coming from power grid ending up in a socket isn’t unlimited. It could be if you use the sun, wind and water but it’s not for the common man. Companies go first and next the wealthy. They even get it cheaper than the people. With us the common man is the one who pays for investing in what they call ‘green energy’. Not that the energy out of the socket is green. It’s the same and as ‘grey’ as all electricity in the country. For green electricity you pay just pay more because they electricity company spends that extra money on windmills, advertising, sponsoring some people and once in a while they plant a tree. No one knows where on earth Sa but they say they do. Hard to believe if you take into consideration nearly every city in the country cuts down trees and tries to get rid of everything that looks green instead of taking care of nature.

Today it’s my electricity-off grid day again. At 3 am there was power at 5 am I was switched off. At that time of the day, it’s needless to call the company. The children left for the bus stop and I stayed in bed.

We have two lamps on batteries, a bag with candles (tea lights) and a jump starter with a light, USB and another plug build in.

At 7 am it was grey outside but no longer pitch dark. Enough light to find my way. I made myself a mug of tea with the warm water in the thermos flask left from yesterday.

At 7:30 am I started the day. Curtains, blinds and windows open and time to get dressed.
I used a bit more warm water from the thermo flask and a washing cloth and soap, to wash myself. For sure this saves water and water is what I don’t have. Without electricity, my water pump cannot function.

My stove by the way, isn’t electric. I cook on butane so I can cook the left water for a hot cup of tea (I don’t need to eat). I can’t do the dishes today and do not read my e-mail. I could because I have a mobile router (charged just like my phone yesterday) but I can do without. I don’t feel like being updated.
Instead I make three crossword puzzles and feed the cats. After I’m finished I go outside. It’s time to feed the wolves. I have two filled water cans plus a filled bucket and in case of need 10 bottles of 2 litres each with my own tap water. I saved yesterday’s rice water too.

Back inside I put the gas heater on. It works on butane too. It can not heat the entire house, not even the room where I sit but it makes a difference. I won’t let it burn the entire day to save gas. Once I no longer feel so cold I switch it off and sit with the hot water bag till the children are back home. That hot water bag is filled with water so I will reuse it.

The bucket with water in the kitchen is filled. I can mop the floor and if necessary flush the toilet with it at the end of the day. With us, toilet paper is rarely flushed through the toilet.

The hallway is still a bit smelly after the cats used the litters and although I left the front door open and mopped with bleach. Time to light a stick incense. I use the flame of the gas heater. No need for Airwick or a spray.

I don’t have a fridge so my food cannot get spoiled which is a plus. In the past twenty years washing machines, electric ovens, laptop batteries and much more were damaged because of electricity issues. This means I never leave adapters or plugs in sockets and what is plugged in is always switched off unless I need it.

Without electricity I can cook, heat parts of the house, I can drink my tea. I can use my phone (powerbanks) and the internet (mobile router). I can heat water on the cooker. The only thing lacking is water.

Since we never watch the telly we won’t miss it. We can do without the news and not interested in watching rehearsals of rehearsals. There are plenty of books to read, we have games, can talk, write and watch a downloaded film if we like.

Water will be the main problem. At this moment I have 24 litres of drinking water but that won’t be enough if I need to provide the animals with water (15 litres is the minimum), wash myself and the children, want something to drink, cook and flush the toilet only once a day. For that, I need about 35-40 litres of water a day and the laundry isn’t included.
During the Summer of 2020, we did six weeks without electricity. It helps if it rains (water for the animals and to flush the toilet) but I can’t count on rain. The only option is buying a generator. A few years ago I thought about it but they are very expensive plus my fear is I cannot pull hard enough to start it. An acquaintance said I could buy his since he bought a new one. He asked 1000 euros for his second hand which is too much for a generator without a warranty. So far I managed without. I can survive one or two perhaps even three days if the children visit school. It would make me feel better to be more independent if it comes to electricity. A solar panel would help as would a generator. Hopefully, I can save enough money to buy one before 2022 is over. I like to be prepared for my children and the animals since the pond I dug is empty for the biggest time of the year.


off-grid light options

How to survive the first 90 days after a collapse?

9 Survival gardening crops

Top 10 barter items

Building your own solar panel

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#kittywu #energy #life #blackout

The crowd

Unexpected a big crowd showed up in Amsterdam. The demonstration was cancelled by the mayor because the police/ME would strike. Without police/ME no one can keep all those people safe.

What the mayor didn’t know is she cannot forbid demonstrations. Two people decided to have coffee and the rest -ten thousand people or more- decided to have a coffee too.

The police were present and told everyone to go into a certain street. They did, the crowd followed the orders and guess who was waiting for them? The crowd was trapped in the alley from both sides.

Striking? Again this was a set-up of the police with help of the mayor. Some policemen can use some anger management or better be sacked. Using sticks and dogs on people who pass by, those who already lay flat on the ground is not done.

It happened in The Hague, Amsterdam and so on. Already on January 2,  2022, the police showed its true colours. If the police don’t keep the people safe perhaps we should stop paying their wages.

About 50+ veterans present protected the people and the police. The police attacked them.

Veterans attacked and under fire

The police/ME was told to leave by their superior nevertheless they kept attacking and beating up young and old. Dogs were literally thrown on people and forced to bite.

Mauled by police dogs and beaten up

Demonstration January 2, 2022 – Amsterdam

Demonstratie Amsterdam (compilatie)

Please, scroll down. Underneath the text you find more videos about what happened.

Police attacks peaceful protestors first

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#kittywu #january #amsterdam #veterans #stopthenonsense

Living in a bubble

“Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.”

Good for a song but not something I would ask for. It started snowing yesterday. Small flakes, big flakes. I watched them falling through the window and had a walk outside twice. If it snows it’s not so cold and the dirty world looks like a better place. Not that it is and it won’t take for long but for a moment it is. It’s an illusion ugliness, dirt, mud and even garbage no longer exist. Snow covers the bad up dead bodies, bad smells included. An old abandoned fallen apart house looks suddenly romantic.
Would, without all those songs about snow, the mindset about snow be different? The mind is easily filled with statements, ideas that aren’t ours. We didn’t figure it out ourselves. It’s easier to believe what someone else wrote instead of getting active and putting their mind at work. It chats faster if knowledge from Wikipedia and mainstream media spits out on social media, the internet and to those we meet.

“I read it on the internet/social media so it’s true” is a sarcastic phrase used. Some teachers warn pupils not to believe everything and so do I.

I tell my children not to believe people on their word, the first message that pops up if they search the internet for an answer. I know if our family searches for an answer to the same question each one of us sees something different. Indeed in this family we nearly daily search for answers to what keeps our minds busy. It’s good for a talk and deeper discussions and to know what’s on each other’s mind. As a parent I want my children to be creative, think and not believe everything that’s said. This was the norm in the society I was raised in. To me it’s part of growing up, adultery to think, invest, build an opinion of your own, act and take responsibility for your deeds. There’s no need to be one of the sheep, to follow the mass and repeat what ‘they’ want us to say. If we all did we would still live in a cave.

The truth behind a story will not be found if you stay in your bubble, close your eyes, aren’t open to others their opinion and are not willing to search for it. It’s easy to say “I didn’t know” but today everyone can know, everyone willing knows. The truth can be found. Most of us have internet and with that access to the entire world. If you read the news read comments too. I learn from different opinions. Commenters are frequently showing the other side of the story, the real news. It’s good to doubt. It’s what science is built on: doubt.
That admired hero can turn out to be no hero at all. A celebrity isn’t necessarily a good person and good deeds done by the wealthy are done for another reason than mentioned. Rich and famous are the most selfish people there are. They follow the 7-sins-rule to get that far and stay at the top.

Mainstream media doesn’t care about the info they feed the world with as long as they get paid. Their task is to realize one mentality, one idea, to set up people against each other, to divide by chaos, to help organize a one-world government. The old Greek, Romans, Osman, the Sun-King (Louis XIV) and Napoleon had the same in mind like the Roman Catholic church and after them many others who love power and to be God themselves. The only thing you need to realize is that all you need is money. There’s no room for empathy. Money is needed to buy people to spread your news, to buy what is needed to control people and governments (food/seeds, banks, multinationals, electricity and medication make a good start), to show your ‘good heart’ in times of need and money keeps your hands clean. Courage is needed to make your hands dirty.

Digging for the truth isn’t an easy task and not everyone has the courage to do so. I start to believe that after I heard someone say “This fight is not meant for me” it’s true.
If someone who rather stays in his bubble adds something good to the world is hard to tell. I assume they add nothing bad either and perhaps it’s a way to keep them sane. Who knows they can help others to relative and put minds at ease in a world of chaos.

Those I know are all different. Different characters, ideas, some have hopes, dreams and ideas about what their future looks like. To realize that the future will never be if… can be hard to deal with.
What comes after the if depends on the person. I know it doesn’t have to do with age. People of all ages, children and the elderly see their hopes, dreams, security taken away. A part of them fights, another part gives up while the biggest part follows and tries not to break their brains too much.

My children are not different although, in a way they are. Why? Because they have me as a parent. It does make a difference for a child who the parents are, what they stand for (norms, values) and how they treat/educate their child. Each one of my children is an individual, a personality, has a strong will and is creative. I always stimulated that. I raised them from a young age to be independent, responsible, how to do, ask for or where to get what. Things schools don’t teach. Life skills, surviving hard times, how to fight for your life, set priorities, pay your bills, knowing what’s right for you is not taught. Creativity, a different opinion, to stand for who you are is killed. As a child, you are drilled and have to cover up who you are, what you think, how you feel, everything that’s personal because what you say or do will be used against you.

“You don’t have a child to throw away,” parents said about their son who’s the murderer of their daughter. They stick to their child, support it. A child that intended to kill them too.

A fact about snow is it won’t stay clean and white and it will not cover what’s ugly forever. If snow melts the confrontation is back. With some luck, you had the necessary break and a relaxing time like I had yesterday. It’s true what they say about a day without electricity. The world is more peaceful and so it is without social media, newspapers, radio and TV even more with a day without the internet, being offline. Without the continued stream of information, opinions, ideas on how to survive, the influence of so many people it’s easier to feel happy and invest time in yourself. It’s important to know yourself. If necessary we all can climb mountains but is there always a need to? Should we fight someone else’s war or ours only? When is a war personal? Is it if you sit in the cold like the people in Kazakhstan? What happened there can happen everywhere. Everywhere where people are still fighting for their rights and do not let emotions like anxiety make hide them inside and die.

On January 6th I wasn’t the only one in this world without electricity. I survived, hardly noticed it because I am prepared. Electricity issues I have had for at least 20 years. Annoying, especially in a world where they force you to use the internet for nearly everything important but the good thing about it is I’m prepared. I learned from it. I learned to do what’s necessary right away. A delay always turns out bad. I learned that from living in the country. A life in the mud, sliding through sheep shit, fighting with insects, a lack of water and the endless cold in a place that is never really warm. To a certain amount you even get used to it just like the expensive costs for living, costs without food, clothes, school expenses, medication, dentistry and so on included.

At the start of 2022, I said to my children we didn’t do bad at all. We have a home, a car, food. The children can visit school and the shops aren’t always empty. Except for a headache or being tired not one of us was ill. We are healthy, more healthy than before, we are still close and laugh together. We didn’t lose any friends or family because of a different lifestyle, poverty, a different opinion or ideas. We all can express ourselves freely. Isn’t that what life should be about?

As a parent, we should support our children. If under all circumstances I don’t know. It’s up to each person to decide what a life is worth. A parent’s, a child’s, a friend’s or your own. We do not share the same energy, feel the drive to act or respond. Taking responsibility isn’t easy for many. Each decision comes with a price. Good or bad, wrong or right, accept or refuse, agree or deny the result of each choice is with what we live for the rest of our lives.

I want my children to see the world. The real world which includes its ugliness and dirt too. There’s no need for them to experience everything themselves but I don’t want them to grow up blind, innocent, without any skills, the knowledge they can survive on their own.

During my childhood, it was common to have a filled pantry. Ours looked like a small grocery store. Three items of each product we used were stored. Since I was raised with the idea you never know there might be a new hunger-Winter I did the same. Later I gave up on it to start with it again a few years ago. I made it easier to survive the Winters. Winters with rain or snow which made it hard to buy groceries. Once we were forced to stay home for nearly six weeks. If there’s no shop nearby it’s more relaxed to have some extra food stored in case of need. It saves me a lot of travelling and time too. Waiting in line I rather do with a filled shopping cart than daily for one or two items.
Just like me, my children are raised by making a shopping list. Each day we write down what is used. Once I go for the groceries I check which amount I can spend and what is most urgently needed. I make a new list and write the price I’m willing to spend behind each article something my parents never did they just bought what they needed no matter what it cost. I hope the way I do it will help my children in the future. A good life under hard circumstances can be lived if you list your priorities and know where the money flows into. With us, these are the costs for living not food and for sure not going out/fun.

Times change and so do the expenses and our needs. Another good reason to invest money in those things you always need unless you don’t eat and don’t care about hygiene and health.
In the next weeks, I will add a bit extra to my pantry. Things I wouldn’t easily buy because I hardly use them but it doesn’t mean I might need them in the future or someone else can.

* salt + sugar (body)
* coffee + tea + cocoa (energy, relax)
* alcohol (disinfectant)
* milk
* chocolate (survival food/good mood)
* washing soda (skin infections)
* bleach (clean water)
* soap (body, laundry, hair)
* socks (protection of the feet)

If it comes to bubbles. A life in the country without close neighbours, TV, radio is living in kind of a bubble too. I like the peace of mind it brings me. I don’t need mainstream media to stay updated on the latest news. I don’t like to be confronted with the ugliness and dirt of other people either. I’m aware of the world outside my bubble. I’m not blind, deaf or keep my mouth shut. To me, it feels nothing will change if I take the easy way, what’s easiest to me. To some, it helps to keep the peace at home, within the family, among friends, at work. I don’t have to deal with these situations which is a plus. I can read, search for answers, reasons if I feel to it and share information if I think it can benefit someone someday. It doesn’t mean all info sent is read carefully I’m aware of that.
At times it’s too much and at times it’s better not to share because it tires out. Not only me but my children and friends too especially if it tends to be bad news only. If all light, fun and peace are taken away it’s hard not to lose one’s mind. What is eaten (read/heard) needs time to be digested.

I know I’m not the greatest mom in the world. As a parent, I could have done better. It takes time to grow into parenthood and it’s hard if you have two jobs, feel tired 24/7, are selfish and feel worried about the future of your children at the same time. Children want to play, have friends, dream, to be left alone instead of being pushed into directions. No child likes to listen to endless stories about the past or the ugly future. No child wants to be brainwashed but it happens. It happens for generations, it happened to us, to me. It needs courage and energy to fight (against all odds) and we all know not everyone is right for that job. Most of us will always need and follow a leader because our mind tells us it’s the right thing to do. We only kick at our parents, fight them and say: I hate you.

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#kittywu #parenting #life #bubble